GAH!
by Krabby Patties
Summary: You wish it will never happen. You hope to God it will never happen. You pray every night that it will never happen. Sorry. It happened. Terra’s back and she’ll give the Titans Hell…cuz they go back in time…yeah… [Major Terra bashing RobStar lil BBRae]
1. Ignorance is NOT Bliss

**GAH!  
**By Krabby Patties

A/N: I've got nothing but to tell you how much fun this storie is going to be. Ooh! I can't wait! And…I have nothing against people who practice voodoo (if you get all angry at me…). Oh and just to let you know…I had the idea of this storie in my mind WAY before they came up with that "Kole" episode. So don't go thinking that I can't make up my own ideas.

WARNING: This chapter contains drinking, death, and…/Throws up/…Terra…

o.O O.o o.O O.o o.O O.o

**Chapter One: Ignorance is NOT Bliss**

Now this is the tale of silly blonde and how she ruins everything. This blonde's name is Terra.

Terra had been frozen in her rocky tomb for about a year. These crazy people walked into the cave and found that crazy statue of Terra. So they decided to do some crazy voodoo magic and brought the freak back to life.

"Wow!" The ignorant blonde exclaimed. "You saved me!" She gave them all, man and women, kisses on their cheeks. "Golly gosh! This is great!" She smiled an annoying toothy grin. "Now I can be back on the team! I'm a Titan now! Now I get to go back to their big Tower with the video games and the food and the elevators and the rabid mice and the really, really big computer and the…"

Already the voodoo dudes had regretted bringing her back to life. They got sick and tired of her jabbering.

"…and the U-shaped couch and the air conditioning and the blue fuzzy stuff in the fridge and the roof and the phone and the Spice Girls CD and the vid—oof!"

The leader of the voodoo dudes and went up and punched her right in the gut. They all cheered as Terra wobbled back and forth trying to keep her balance.

"That's going to leave a mark." And she fell back like a quarter someone just flipped.

The voodoo dudes laughed and celebrated. One guy pulled like 100 six packs of beer out of nowhere. So they all decided to have a couple drinks.

Wrong.

Every one of them seriously drank like 6 packs of beer themselves. So as you can imagine they were seriously drunk. They pranced around shooting out random voodoo spells, destroying the cave. A young couple was making out on the floor and it looked as if it was soon to be serious. Another two people were throwing voodoo spells at each other to death.

■□■□■□■□■

Back over at the Titans Tower, the Titans who happen to occupy Titans Tower were sitting around in different places not really doing anything. Raven was sitting in her room eating a large carton of quadruple chocolate chunk ice cream. She randomly picked up steak knives that were sitting on the bed next to her using telekinesis and threw them at large picture of Terra on the wall. She hit a bull's eye everytime, her heart.

Cyborg was lying on the roof, counting all the UFOs he saw go by.

"Thaaaaaaat's number one!" Cyborg pointed to an object that floated in the sky. He threw his fist to the ground. "Dammit, that's a butterfly!"

Cyborg started pointing again. "Ooh! Ooh! I see one!" His fist hit the ground again. "Dammit, that's a flying squirrel."

Beast Boy was also in his room flipping through his favorite magazine which happened to contain lots of women wearing nothing but swimsuits. His mouth hung real low as he drooled all over the pages.

Robin and Starfire were sitting in the living room couch twiddling their thumbs. They occasionally glanced at each other. If they were caught staring at the other, they would blush and look away. There was a piercing silence in the room.

"So, um, Starfire…" Robin scooted over.

"Yes?" Starfire said eagerly. She scooted a little closer.

"…Um…Star…fire…" He scooted over some more.

"Yes. That is my name." Starfire scooted.

"Well…uh…" Some more scooting.

All five teens were interrupted when the alarm went off. Beast Boy screamed, hid his magazine and ran out of the room. Cyborg jumped up and ran down the stairs.

"Well I made good progress," Cyborg said to himself. "So how many UFO sighting do I have now?" He tapped a couple buttons on his arm and came to a screen titled 'UFO Sightings.' There was a big blue zero. "Oh."

Raven jumped up, dropping the ice cream on the floor and the knife she started to throw went haywire and stuck into her mirror.

Both Robin and Starfire inwardly groaned. Robin jumped up and rushed to the computer. Starfire joined him as the other Titans rushed in.

For some reason Cyborg jumped straight over the top of the couch. "What's the problem, Robbie?" He left a big dent in the floor as he joined the others looking up at the blinking screen.

Anger rose in Robin at this little nickname but he put it off. "There's a disturbance down in section 14."

"You don't mean…" Beast Boy started.

"Yeah. The Cave."

"Who is it?" Raven asked.

"Dunno. They're not in our computer."

Beast Boy leaned his arm on Robin's shoulder. "New baddie, eh?" Robin shrugged the arm off. "Definitely not a match for the…" Beast Boy pumped a fist in the air and stood heroically. "TEEN TITANS!"

As Beast Boy stood heroically, Robin announced that it was time to take their leave. All four Titans swung through Beast Boy like he was a swinging double door and headed off to the garage. Once Beast Boy realized they'd left he ran after them, almost tripping over himself.

Down in the garage Robin ordered for everyone to get in the T-Car. They drove out as far as they could until the road ended. Then they flew over to the cave.

Robin stood in front of the Titans. "You guys stay out here. I'm go—" A blast of multicolored energy burst through the rocky wall and zipped right by Robin's head. "Um yeah… Well, I'm going in to see who we're up against. Just shut up and don't say a word."

After all the Titans had nodded, Robin sneaked into the cave. He was amazed when he saw a bunch of weirdoes spinning, jumping, making out, fighting, and tripping. Then he noticed the empty beer cans. Robin walked back out of the cave smiling.

"Robin, why are you smiling?" Starfire asked sweetly.

"Yeah," Beast Boy said. "Who is it?"

"No big deal. Just a bunch crazy drunk people." Robin walked back to the entrance of the cave. "Come check it out."

"OOH!" went Cyborg's high-pitched squeal. "I love drunk people!" He rushed over and everybody followed.

So they walked in and avoided the voodoo magic that was shot at them. One weirdo came up to Raven and tried to kiss her but Beast Boy punched him hard in the face. Then all of a sudden it got out of control. The drunkees started screaming loudly and magic was being thrown more frequently and sporadic. Raven created a dome shield around the Titans to protect them from the rapid fire.

Then suddenly all the voodoo people doing what they were doing and fell to on their backs, one by one.

"What's going on?" Beast Boy asked as Raven lowered the shield.

Robin's eyes squinted at the bodies that lay on the floor. "I think they're going through the effects of alcohol poisoning."

"What's that mean?" Beast Boy asked stupidly.

"They're all dead," Raven answered bluntly.

Beast Boy threw his hands up in the air. "Jeez Raven! Why'dja hafta kill like 16.67 people?"

Raven just glared at him. "I didn't."

"It was the alcohol," Robin said. "They must have had too much."

"Won't we be blamed for these deaths? I mean, they all just died right in front of us. Will people think that's suspicious?" Cyborg asked.

Robin walked over to a body and kicked it softly. "No. I hope not. But once the scientists come in and discover the massive amounts of alcohol in their blood, they will realize we had nothing to do it."

Starfire hunched down next to a body. She daintily lifted up its wrist with her pointer finger and thumb and then dropped it as if it burnt her. "But what are we to do with so many bodies?"

"When the cops come they'll figure something out." Robin bent down and took a body's pulse. "Check to see if any one is alive or unconscious."

Everybody spread out and started checking for people's pulses. So far everybody there was dead. Beast Boy just randomly stopped and stared at something without moving at all.

Raven, Starfire, Robin, and Cyborg met in the middle of the cave.

"Alright, all my guys were all dead," Robin announced. "Any luck?"

"Negatory," responded Cyborg.

"No," responded Raven.

"Sadly my answer is also no," responded Starfire.

"Okay… What about you Beast Boy? …Beast Boy?" Robin looked around and found Beast Boy frozen in his spot. He walked over and the other Titans followed. "Hey Beast Boy what's—" Robin was cut short when he realized what Beast Boy was looking at.

"What is wrong?" Starfire asked the two boys. She got no answer. Then she spotted it. Raven and Cyborg had also spotted it.

There she was. There was blonde dork they all regretted becoming friends with. The freak they hated. The ugly butt named Terra.

Terra suddenly shot up and realized she was surrounded by some familiar people. "Well, hiya guys!"

No answer.

Terra stood up. "You guys must be so happy to see me that you can't say anything!" She pulled them all into a group hug and they didn't even blink.

She let go of them. "It's so nice to see you! I can see that you guys are thinking the same thing because of your blank faces! I was going to go to the Tower and ask to be back on the team, but like, here you are! So I'm guessing that means I'm on the team! Right Robin!" She dug her elbow into Robin stomach. Robin just nodded, his face still blank.

"Golly gosh! This is totally awesome!" She headed to the entrance of the cave but realized no one was following her. "Come on guys!" They didn't turn. So she headed back over to them. "Oh, you silly goose-es you!"

She some how grabbed all of them and dragged them all the way to the T-Car. She stuffed Cyborg in the driver's seat. "Drive back to the Tower okay?" Cyborg nodded slightly. She stuffed the rest of the Titans in the back seat and buckled herself into the passenger seat.

They all sat the in the car for a moment. Terra looked over at Cyborg. "Well, go on! Let's go back to the Tower!" Cyborg moved his head a little and started up the car and drove off. He stared straight off in to the distance and only his arms moved as he steered. Once they had reached the Tower, Terra jumped out and dragged the Titans into the common room.

"Wow this is great!" Terra spun around the room as if she were a ballerina high on drugs. "I can't believe you guys let me be a Titan again! I can't wait to fight another criminal!" She rushed over to the computer and sat in front of it. "I'll be ready as soon as the alarm goes off!"

■□■□■□■□■

**-₪- The Next Day -₪-**

Terra was still staring intently at the screen and the Titans were still lying in a heap with the blank looks on their faces. Terra's eyes were bloodshot and dry. Her hair was limp and ugly. Drool was spilling out of her open mouth and creating a pool of saliva on the desk. She blinked a couple times and realized she was tired. She stood up.

"You know what I like to do when I'm tired?" she said to the Titans, whom she thought were listening. "I like to sing. Wanna hear me sing? I promise you'll enjoy it. I'm actually pretty good. I _almost_ made it into my fifth grade choir… Well, here I go…"

She started singing. Nobody on the face of the earth would be able to tell what song it was. Her voice was _horrible_. Not your normal average everyday 'My pet skunk died!' horrible. But an advanced _horrible_. You thought Starfire sung badly? Well, you've got another thing coming. This was infinity times worse the Starfire. It sounded like a baby screaming, a car accident, and a dead donkey having an orgasm all at the same time.

All the Titans immediately snapped out of their trances and pried themselves off each other. Robin turned into leader mode.

"Okay everybody. That was the bomb alarm. Evacuate the building in an orderly manner. This is not a drill. This is a real emergency. Do not go out main doors. Raven, through Exit 6. Beast Boy, Exit 5. Cyborg, Exit 7. Get to the land across from here and wait for my instructions." Everybody started marching/running away. Except for Terra who stayed in the room, singing horribly, Robin who was still in leader mode and Starfire who wasn't quite sure what to do.

Starfire inched closer to Robin. "Umm…Robin…? I am not quite sure what to do. You had not given me instructions…"

Robin grabbed her hand and started running off. "I wanted you to stay close to me. I'd shoot myself if something happened to you."

Back with Terra, she had just finished serenading her song of horrendous-ness. She opened her eyes, which had closed dramatically because she was so _into_ the song, and looked around. There was no human/alien/green person/half-robot/half-demon in sight. "Hey! Where did everybody go?"

She ran around the Tower looking for everybody. She called each of their names sweetly.

Over with the Titans, they were watching the Tower intently.

"Umm…why isn't it blowing up?" Beast Boy asked.

"Yeah," Cyborg agreed. "Wasn't that the bomb threat alarm? And didn't you say that it wasn't a drill?"

"Yeah…" Robin's forehead creased in thought. "I didn't set that alarm off so it wasn't a drill. Could it be a false alarm?" Robin kinda-sorta directed the question to Raven.

Raven was getting the gist of what he _wasn't _asking. She sighed. "Fine." She closed her eyes and started searching the Tower with her mind. But somehow…_somehow_ she missed Terra. Her eyes opened. "I'm not sensing any massive amounts of explosive substance anywhere around the Tower."

"So is it safe to go back?" Robin asked.

"Yes."

Little did they know, it so was not safe…

So. The Titans walked inside the Tower. They were chatting nonchalantly about something normal teenagers usually don't talk about…

"So wait a minute Raven… Chickens _can't_ get rabies!"

Raven sighed. "Yes, Beast Boy. You're the animal expert. You should know."

"So if I were to transform into a chicken and a rabid alligator bit me, I wouldn't get rabies?"

"Alligators don't get rabies either…" Robin said, annoyed.

"What? Is there like a list on the Internet that I can look up and find all the animals that don't get rabies?"

"No…" Cyborg said. "All you need to know is that only mammals can get rabies."

"Oh…"

They all continued down the hallway to the common room. Robin, Starfire, Raven, and Cyborg were extremely happy that they were off the rabies subject.

"Wait a minute…" Beast Boy said.

Everyone sighed. So much for no more annoying questions.

"Can _koala bears_ get rabies?"

"Yes!" everyone said simultaneously.

"Why?" Beast Boy sounded like one of those annoying kids that ask 'why?' over and over again and make you want to shoot them.

"Because they're mammals." Robin said through clenched teeth.

"Ooooh…"

Finally! The interrogations were over!

…

Not.

"What's a mammal?"

Everybody stopped in their tracks. What did he just say?

"What's a mammal?" Beast Boy said a little more demanding.

Everyone gave Beast Boy glares. But Starfire decided to answer his question.

She held a finger up. "A mammal is any group of warm-bloodied vertebrate animals, including Homo sapiens, characterized by the presence of hair and by milk-producing glands in the females."

"Ooooooooh…"

…

"Can ostriches get rabies?"

They all sweatdropped and walked into the common room, ignoring Beast Boy's question all together.

But they all stopped short when they saw…_her…_

"I thought it was a dream…" Cyborg said shaking his head.

"I thought I saw seeing things…" Beast Boy said, his mouth hanging open.

"I thought she was a hallucination at the time of _Grahsheeking_…" Starfire pulled her hair over her shoulder and started searching through it… Must have something to do with this '_Grahsheeking_' thing she was talking about.

Raven said nothing but was testing to see if they weren't in some alternate dimension and Robin's eyes searched the floor as he racked his brain for answers.

"Like, hiya guys!" was Terra's annoying squeal. "Where did you all run off to so quick?"

"Who are you?" Robin held his fists out in front of him.

"And why do you dress up as our deceased friend to taunt us?" Starfire asked.

"I'm not deceased! And I'm not dead either! I'm alive! It's me! Terra! Are you guys that stupid to not remember me from just yesterday?" Terra held her hands into the air.

Robin's eyes squinted. "Raven. Check her."

"Whatever." Raven closed her eyes and chanted mantra under her breath. She searched Terra's DNA to see if it matched the dead Terra's DNA. Her eyes widened when the results came in.

"Raven? What?" Beast Boy asked.

"That's her. That's the real Terra."

"Well, duh! Gosh guys." Terra folded her arms across her chest and shook her head. "I'm sorry but you're all really dumb-witted."

"But how are you alive?" Starfire asked.

"Oh yeah! I didn't tell you, did I? Well, these freaks did some magic on me and freed me from the rock!"

They all looked at Robin to see if they should believe this. All Robin did was look at the floor and nod.

"Alright! Now that I'm back on the team, let's go train!" Terra skipped to the doorway.

"Wait a minute…" Robin's fists were on his hips. "Who said you were back on the team?"

"You did, silly! Now come on!" She headed toward the door again.

"I never said anything."

Her voice was gradually growing higher and higher. "Yes you did!"

Yet Robin kept the same tone. "No I didn't."

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did!"

"Well, whatever I said, I didn't mean it."

"But Robin!" Terra whined. "You did! I heard it with my mouth and ears! You said it!" She buckled down and started fake crying. Robin, Raven, Cyborg, and Beast Boy looked at her disgusted. But Starfire's face showed concern.

"You're never coming back on the team after what you did with Slade," Robin announced.

"But I have nowhere else to go!" Terra cried.

Starfire approached Robin. "Oh Robin. Look at her. May you please allow her to join the team? She does not have any other home!"

"No way." Robin sliced his hands though the air. "I have my mind set on this one. There is no way she is coming back on the team."

"But Robin!" Starfire whined. "If you do allow her to join the team, I'll…" She whispered something into Robin's ear that made him blush. Cyborg and Beast Boy giggled.

"Alright. Fine. She can join the team," Robin said still blushing.

"Oh thank you!" Terra leapt up and hugged and kissed Robin all over the face, making Starfire extremely jealous.

Little did Robin know that that was the worse mistake he would ever make in his life.

■□■□■□■□■

**-₪- Six Months Later -₪-**

Terra had unofficially become Beast Boy. She did all the things Beast Boy used to do. She sneaked into Raven's room. She told stupid jokes and annoyed the hell out of everyone. She acted sooo stupid that she made Beast Boy look like a genius. She created a hungry obsession with octopus tentacles and cooked them all the time. She tried forcing everybody to eat them. She played pranks on everybody and for some reason they were mostly performed upon Starfire. Maybe it's because she knew Starfire wouldn't do anything about it.

Like one time, Robin decided to prank Terra back for all the embarrassing things she did to Starfire. He was going to record Terra doing her morning ritual of popping zits, hack into all the world's satellites, and send the recording to every TV on the planet.

**-₪- Flashback -₪-**

_Robin stood at Terra's door, watching her pop her zits. He fumbled through his pockets in search of something. "Where is that damn camera?" In the last pocket he could search he finally found one of those little tiny recording cameras. He opened the side screen thing and pointed it at Terra. He was about to press record when Starfire suddenly appeared and took the camera away._

"_Robin that is mean! …No matter how _mean_ Terra is when she puts the paste of teeth in my hair as I slumber or when she cuts holes into my shirts where they do not belong as I take showers or when she calls me on the communicator pretending she is you and says mean things or when she eats all the cookies I bake for you or when says she has a very 'cool' gift for me but it is only paperclips or when she—"_

_Robin put a quieting finger to her lips. "That's reason enough."_

_Starfire shrugged. "I am guessing so."_

"_Good." He smiled widely and took the camera from Starfire. He pressed record._

_Later that day Robin sent the recording to every TV and Terra became the laughing stock of the world. But Terra became cockier and thought everyone was laughing at her because she was funny. She still played pranks on everyone and acted as if things were normal._

**-₪- End Flashback -₪-**

So because Beast Boy had his place taken over, he hanged out with Raven more. He was still stupid but wasn't as annoying. He became manageable. Raven actually enjoyed the company and everyone could swear a secret relationship was going on between them. Raven still stayed emotionless, but when she was around Beast Boy she opened up.

Robin and Starfire were way closer then normal too. They flirted with each other more than normal and were also cuddling when they watched TV or a movie or something. They made more frequent trips to the roof and to the ice cream parlor alone. But everyone knew they still weren't dating because whenever relationships or kissing or love were mentioned, they blushed like crazy and stuttered.

Now Cyborg was starting to get a little bored with his life. He still gave tons of challenges to Beast Boy to video game tournaments and always won. But when Terra started hogging Beast Boy's usual controller, Cyborg let her win. He really didn't care if Terra won every…single…game because he didn't try. He just decided it was easier. For the most part though, Cyborg wasn't seen much because he was off with his car.

Terra's addition to the team didn't make things easier with villains at all. She thought she could take down every villain by herself and got in everyone's way. Sometimes Robin had to knock out Terra so they could defeat the criminals, because she told disgusting jokes to everybody and distracted the team.

In Terra's case, ignorance is NOT bliss. All they could think was that rock made her stupid or something.

And at the present moment Terra wasn't doing anything good for her reputation…

o.O O.o o.O O.o o.O O.o

A/N: Yessss! So how was that? Does it make you want to jump for joy and scream "RABiES!" at the top of your lungs? …….Didn't think so… Well anyway do you like how I make fun of Terra? Or should it be more gruesome?

So this is chapter one. Mostly an introduction obviously. Next chapter will actually get into the plot.

I'm still really stuck about whether I should make another certain main character have a horrible but funny death. But I know you guys would hate me if I did have he/she perish. But it would be pretty funny though. Send a review saying you want them to die or you want them to live PLEASE! But keep in mind. It might be your favorite character who is going to die…

Review. I don't think those who have read "Addiction" want me to tell the 'Submit a Review' storie do they? MPAL2! ((My pancakes are laughing too!)) Yeah…

Okay. Just to let you know I'm not going to have a certain day when I will post chapters. I'll just do it when I finish writing another chapter. That could take a couple days, or a couple weeks, or a couple months, or a couple years…who knows?

Can't wait till next chapter, can ya?

And I would like to mention that I have a friend named Robin. So guess what I call her… ROBBIE-POO! Yessss. Tis tru.

Disclaimer: Not. Teen Titans. I. Own. Do.

Later days! Until next chapter,

ЖЯдβБΨ ۹Ǻ†ŧỊ€ی™  
---♥--♥---


	2. Portal’s XL

**GAH!  
**By Krabby Patties

A/N: So here's the second chapter. This one actually gets into the main plot of the storie. And also in other news I literally have a wall-o-phobia. Seriously. In the locker rooms in the gym they never told us there was wet paint so I got my whole arm smothered in off-white paint and at the ends of my hair too. And then for the rest of the day I was scared to touch off-white colored walls. They haunt my dreams… Isn't that tragic?

And if you forgot…I had the ideas in this chapter and for the whole storie WAY before the episode "KOLE" was first aired.

WARNING: This chapter contains the numbers 666, a flirting dinosaur, vomit, and…/Hangs self from ceiling/…Terra…

o.O O.o o.O O.o o.O O.o

**Chapter Two: Portal's XL**

"Raven! Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me! Don't hurt me! Don't—" 

"Quiet, you fool!"

Raven had chased Terra into the living room where all of the other Titans happened to be sitting pleasantly watching some graphic TV. Terra was cowering in a corner with Raven towering above her. All the Titans turned. They groaned. It was just the normal fight between mortal enemies… Big deal. They turned back to the TV.

Raven stuck a finger in Terra's face. Terra looked down at it making her eyes crossed. She looked back up at Raven.

"You will follow my commands. You will listen to me and do as I say. Do you hear me?" Raven's glare could have made the toughest man cry.

Terra whimpered and nodded her head. "Mmmhmm." She opened mouth to say something but Raven beat her to it.

"You will stay out of my room from now until you die or you will die. You will not even _look _at my room from now until you die or you will die. You will not speak to me unless it is absolutely necessary from now until you die or you will die. Do I make myself clear!"

"But—"

"You will stay out of my room no matter what the boys tell you that there is a jacuzzi in there, which there isn't." Raven glared at the guys and Beast Boy, Robin, and Cyborg grinned sheepishly.

"But—"

"You will stay out of my room no matter what the boys tell you that there is an enormous prize every twentieth entry."

"But—"

"You will stay out of my room no matter what the boys tell you that I keep pet octopuses in a giant tank."

"But—"

"You will stay out of my room no matter what the boys tell you that I sell marijuana in there."

"But—"

"You will stay out of my—"

"But—"

Raven threw her hands in the air. "What the Hellenistic do you freaking want!"

Terra pointed to the floor. "Your shoes are untied."

Raven looked down. "They are?" She looked back up, cursing herself for falling for something as lame as that and found that Terra had fled down the hallway, screaming like the maniac she is. Raven growled loudly and floated quickly after her.

Raven tracked Terra down to her dark and mysterious room. Terra was tapping her chin, thinking of the override code to get into a locked room. A light bulb flashed above her head and she typed in '666.' A little screen on the number pad by the door blinked in bright red letters 'INVALID CODE.'

Raven stopped floating and watched Terra, smiling…well, maybe on the inside... She would never guess the override code. Terra started to type something in again and the little screen showed the numbers '777' and then 'INVALID CODE.'

Raven thought about it and decided to allow Terra in here this time, and for the last time. She would scare the bloody hell out of Terra and then Terra wouldn't dare to even come near this hallway. It was sure brilliance.

Terra was still at the number pad trying in random numbers. She was getting frustrated. _Must get to those octopuses…_ she repeated over and over again to herself.

"The override code is '123,' " Raven said emotionless.

Terra typed in '123' and the screen blinked in green 'CODE ACCEPTED.' Terra was overjoyed as the door opened.

"Wow! Thanks Raven!" She walked into the room.

Raven shook her head. _What a dork…_ She silently slipped into her room.

"Now, where are those octopuses?" Terra stood in the middle of the room and looked around. She saw something shiny gleam in the dark. "OOH! Shiny!"

She ran over to the shiny object and realized it was a book with a shiny silver metal cover. The words 'Portal's XL' were engraved in old fashioned and barely readable letters.

"Cool!" She opened the book.

Raven watched Terra, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. She watched Terra start to flip through the pages of the shiny book.

_Wow…_ Terra thought. _All this stuff is written in some funny language._ She stopped flipping at a certain page that caught her eye. _Heh heh. This part sounds funny._ She decided to read it aloud. "_Meh arm pitsh shuerly doo shmell._" Terra cackled annoyingly.

Wait a minute… Where had Raven heard that before?… No… That was 'Portal's XL! Terra should not be reading that! It was dangerous! Raven had been doing some studying from that book and forgot to securely lock it up. Oh God. Good things cannot come out of this.

Raven leapt down from her hiding place and ran to Terra. She couldn't let Terra finish reading that spell. Raven stopped. If she just grabbed it out of Terra's hands that would only make things worse. She would have to settle this in a nice humane way.

Raven slowly approached. "Terra…"

Terra turned. "Oh, hiya, Raven." She turned back to the book, trying make out the rest of what it said on the page.

Raven rolled her eyes. Terra would win the contest for the most ignorant person alive hands down. "Can I please have that book?" Raven held out her hand.

"Hold on. It's still my turn… Let's see… _eyegh likesh tuo lighck kihtens_… That's awesome! Okay…_m'eye boht ish sh-eyeh-nee._ Okay! This line is definitely the best: _Shhoot weeher_…"

This was the last line in the spell. Raven could not let Terra finish it! She leapt up and dived for the book. Everything went into slow motion.

"…_gehtoe_…"

Oh no… The last word. Raven needed to just reach…that…book…

((A/N: Imagine Terra's voice all deep and exaggerated as Raven reaches for the book.)) "…_fahb-eew-luss_…"

Raven didn't make it. Terra finished the spell. But why wasn't anything happening.

Terra closed the book and threw it on the floor. "I'm bored." She walked out of the room.

_Why isn't anything happening?_ Raven picked up the book. _She read the spell right, but why isn't anything happening?_

She looked at the back of the book and in fine print it read 'Spells don't always happen as fast as the commercials say they do.'

"Oh," was all Raven said before things suddenly everything turned into a blinding white.

■□■□■□■□■

Raven opened her eyes. She was kneeling on a sandy ground which brought up dust when she moved. She looked around. She couldn't see anyone else. She stood and looked around a little more. She was standing in a small patch of dusty desert. Not far off, she was a large overgrowing jungle that filled horizon. Behind her there a mountain. There was no sign of life anywhere.

Then suddenly Beast Boy and Cyborg appeared out of thin air. They sat on the ground holding invisible game controllers. But then they realized they weren't in front of the TV anymore. They looked around, extremely confused.

"Where's the game?" Beast Boy screeched.

"Yeah! I was about to win!" Cyborg squealed.

"You were not." Beast Boy put a scowl on his face and folded his arms across in his chest.

"Was too." Cyborg imitated Beast Boy's scowl.

"No you weren't."

"Yes I was!"

They stood up, pointing fingers at each other.

"No you weren't!"

"Yes I—"

In a mini dust storm Robin and Starfire appeared. They were sitting beside each other Indian style and Robin was leaning over to Starfire. He was whispering something into her ear as she giggled. They stopped when they realized they weren't in the Tower anymore.

"Uh…" Robin rubbed the back of his neck and stood up. He then helped Starfire up. "Where are we?"

"Yeah! I was thinking the same thing!" Beast Boy exclaimed.

"Where's Terra?" Cyborg asked looking around.

They all looked at each other and then burst out, screaming for joy. Even Raven let out a wide smile. Robin and Starfire grabbed each other and started hopping around in circles. Soon Beast Boy and Cyborg joined in and started chanting.

"No more Ter-ra! No more Ter-ra!"

Raven watched, amused. Then suddenly from behind her Terra appeared. Everyone groaned and sulked away from the circle they formed.

"Hiya guys!" Terra exclaimed. She looked around. "So where are we?"

"We're not sure, Terra," Robin said with acid dripping form his tongue.

"Okay. Cool." Terra smiled a smile that made everyone want to vomit.

"Cyborg," Robin said, "Can you check our location?"

"Yeah." Cyborg held up his arm and pressed a button. Nothing happened. He pressed the button again. Nothing happened…again. He started pressing random buttons at top speed. Nothing happened. "None of my mechanical parts are working." He lowered his arm. "It's a wonder I'm even on right now."

"So you, like, don't work?" Terra asked.

"No," Raven replied sarcastically, "He does work. He just hates Robin so much that he has to trick Robin into thinking he doesn't work so in the middle of the night he can blast a hole through him."

"Wow…" Terra was amazed. She nudged Cyborg in the gut with her elbow. "You're going to have to really get over that hatred. What? Do you like Star or something and you're jealous of Robin?"

Cyborg raised one eyebrow and stared down at the freak as if orange monkeys fell out of her shorts. The others also had raised eyebrows and were giving dirty looks.

"What? Why are you all staring at me?" Terra exclaimed when she saw they were all looking at her. A wave of understanding crossed her face. She put a hand behind her head and pumped her hip to the side. "Sorry boys. But I'm too bootylicious for _you_." She licked the tip of her finger and pressed it to her hip. She then made a sizzling noise.

Beast Boy and Cyborg raised their eyebrows higher and turned away, shaking their heads. Raven was resisting the urge to jump Terra and rip every single hair of blonde out of her disturbing head. Starfire was so disgusted, she leaned over and literally threw up. Robin held her hair up and out of her face as she did so.

Thirty minutes later, everyone had almost recovered from the most scarring moment of their lives. Everybody got back into mission mode.

"Starfire," Robin said. "Can you fly up high and see if you can spot any distinguishing landmarks?"

Starfire smiled. "Of course." She jumped up but immediately landed again. She jumped up and landed again. "I cannot fly."

"Maybe you're not thinking of something happy enough," Robin said.

Starfire closed her eyes. She imagined pushing Terra off a cliff. Then she imagined pushing Terra off a cliff into sharp and pointy rocks. Then she imagined pushing both Terra and Kitten off a cliff into a pit of lava. When all that didn't work, Starfire tried to form starbolts and that didn't work either. "None of my powers work!"

Everybody starting testing their own powers…well, except Robin who was feeling a little left out and kicked a stone at least twenty feet away. It fell into a ditch and sand rose.

"None of us are able to use our powers!" Starfire whined.

Beast Boy stepped forward. "Well, except mine!" He transformed into a kangaroo, an iguana, an eagle, a leopard gecko, a Bengal tiger, a walrus, a giraffe, a rabid skunk, a headless chicken, and then a T-Rex. As a T-Rex, he started prancing around happily, making the ground shake.

Then out of nowhere…well more specifically the jungle, another large and gray T-Rex came running out. Everybody turned. Starfire eeped and hid behind Robin and under his cape. Raven raised an eyebrow. Terra screamed and covered her head. Cyborg's mouth hung open. Beast Boy just stood there, still as a T-Rex, with his mouth hanging open.

The real dinosaur walked over to the green dino and started batting its eyebrows. So everyone assumed it was a girl. Beast Boy stepped back. He roared and probably said something like, "Umm, dude, you're a real dinosaur…"

The other T-Rex roared back and probably said something along the lines of, "No dip, Sherlock! Haha! So you wanna go hunting together?"

Beast Boy laughed. Was this the dinosaur form of asking out? He transformed back into a human. "Dude, I'm not really a dinosaur. I'm a human, hence the human body." The real T-Rex roared disappointedly and ran back into the jungle.

"Was the dinosaur…real?" Cyborg asked a little confused by this odd meeting.

"Sadly, yes."

"Raven, did you by any chance transport us to the prehistoric period?" Robin asked as he raised his cape by one arm and Starfire crawled out.

Raven folded her arms across her chest. "It was all Miss I'm-too-sexy-to-find-real-friends-that-actually-like-me's fault." Raven jerked her head toward Terra.

"What? I didn't do anything!" Terra raised her arms in defense.

"Right… Does shiny book labeled 'Portal's XL' ring a bell? Hmm?"

"No. It doesn't ring a bell, but I do remember it. What was that book about anyway?"

"It was filled with a bunch of dangerous spells and happened to contain one that you read and transported us here to the prehistoric period."

"Okay Raven… But why are we here?" Terra asked as if Raven was mentally slow.

Everyone groaned.

"Okay Titans." Robin stepped in the middle of the group. "We've been transported into the past. Sixty-five million years actually, obviously because of the dinosaur…" And as if to prove his point a pterodactyl flew over head. "Uh, yeah… So that means humans aren't…human yet. I say we search for some shelter for right now. I'm thinking the jungle." Everyone nodded.

"How 'bout we go look for some people first?" Beast Boy suggested as they headed off towards the jungle.

"Did you not just hear what he said?" Cyborg said.

"Yeah. But you know, cavemen. They lived with the dinosaurs."

"No they didn't," Terra said. "You're thinking of the prehistoric man-eating mouse named Kitty Kat."

"Oh yeah…" Then it registered through Beast Boy's head. "What?"

"You're both wrong," Robin said. "The Cro-Magnon cavemen didn't exist until like 40,000 years ago…well from 2016…" ((A/N: I think Teen Titans is set in the future because of their advanced technology and stuff… So hence the year 2016.))

"Why do we know so much about history, Mr. Smarty Pants?" Cyborg asked, smiling.

"Because the sun and the moon connect like that…" Everyone stared at Robin, trying to understand what he was talking about.

"I'm just kidding! Jeez… You guys can't take the sarcasm…" he said. "But…well…I guess it's because if we don't learn from the past we are doomed to repeat it… Well, at least that's what Batman said…"

"Ooh. That's deep…" Cyborg joked.

"Anyway…" Terra said as if she were interrupted. "About that prehistoric man-eating mouse…"

"There is no prehistoric man-eating mouse!" Cyborg threw his arms into the air.

"Yeah huh!"

"Nuh uh!" Beast Boy said.

So as they weren't off arguing Raven, Robin, and Starfire kinda broke away from the group, but still heading to the jungle.

"So this means we do not have any form of help?" Starfire asked.

Robin looked at her but then looked away. "Right."

"But how are we supposed go back home?"

"Yeah, Robin." Raven decided to join the conversation. "Do you have any plans yet?"

"…No… I've got nothing." Robin started at the ground because he was ashamed. He always had a plan. No matter what the criminal looked like or what it could do, Robin always had a plan… Until now…

They had finally reached the edge of the jungle. They didn't even try to walk in. The vines and tree leaves/branches were matted and twisted together and formed a barrier. There was no way they could get through. Robin pressed his hand to the jungely wall and it was as if was made of a strong but stretchy substance.

Robin turned to the Titans. "Alright. Beast Boy. Transform into a large animal. I'm thinking elephant. Get through this barrier. We'll follow you."

So Beast Boy became a large green elephant. The other Titans stood back and Beast Boy started whacking at the jungle with his tusks. Soon he got through the wall and whacked his way through the jungle. Because of his large size, Beast Boy created a pathway clear enough for the others to walk through.

They walked straight, heading close to what they thought was the center of the jungle. Through the rare gaps in the trees above them they could see that it was becoming dark. Raven, Terra, and Starfire soon became tired and couldn't go on, because without their powers they became weak. Beast Boy offered to carry Starfire and Raven on his back. Terra looked up at Beast Boy with a hopeful look in her eye.

"I wouldn't let you touch me if you were the last person on earth."

So Terra was behind the others, out of breath and legs aching. She groaned every few minutes.

They started seeing the night predators. Some strange, blood thirsty dinosaurs lurked in the shadows. One large reptile leapt out and tried to eat Starfire right off Beast Boy's back. So Robin went all Kung Fu on its scaly behind. The reptile limped away, whimpering.

Starfire was fascinated by all the strange, but not deadly, plants and animals she had never seen before. Robin tried to explain things the best he could, but most of the time he had no idea what to say.

They finally came to a clear area on the bank of a small stream. The area was covered in leaves and other small plants. They decided to make camp here. They formed a circle around Robin, waiting for instruction. Terra collapsed to the ground.

"Okay. Cyborg, Beast Boy, I need you to find some berries or nuts or something. Some kind of food. Cyborg, you'll search the lower levels of the trees and Beast Boy, you'll get to the higher parts. Stay together. And don't go father than a quarter of a mile away. Be back in twenty minutes."

Beast Boy and Cyborg nodded and ran off into the jungle.

"Raven, look for some pretty decent sticks and dry leaves and stuff to make a campfire. Terra's going to help you." Both Terra and Raven gave Robin incredulous looks. "Yes. You heard me right. Now stop giving me those incredulous looks." Terra still lay on the floor and Raven still stood in her spot. "GO!" They ran off as fast as their legs could carry them.

Starfire clasped her hands behind her back and leaned over to Robin. "And what are we doing Robin?"

Robin quickly sat down and leaned his back against a tree. "I need rest."

Starfire sat down beside him. "Oh, Robin…" She held onto his arm with a scared look on her face. "Will we ever go home?"

"I don't know," Robin breathed. He leaned his head backwards to the tree. He sat silently for a few moments.

"Will we be stranded here forever?"

"I hope not… But without anyone's powers there's a pretty big chance…"

Starfire smiled brightly. "Then we must have hope, yes?"

Robin weakly smiled back. "Yeah." Then as if he had been struck by lighting he hopped up. "Okay. Let's go help the others."

o.O O.o o.O O.o o.O O.o

A/N: Sorry so short. I had to stop here. Yessss. Send me some nice reviews… DUN DUN DUN DUN BATMAN! … I love the show "Naruto!" It rocks so much! Sasuke and Sakura all the way! They are like my new favorite couple! Anybody agree with me?

Could anybody figure out what that transporting spell actually said? They're real words but I just changed the spelling around. But if you try hard enough you should figure out what it says. Send me reviews with your ideas and next chapter I'll tell you all what it says. Alright?

About replying to reviews… I think I'm going to send you those direct message things. (That's what you're supposed to do…isn't it…?) But if you're reviewing anonymously, I'm too lazy to answer them in every chapter. But if you wanted me to answer yours and you review anonymously, tell me in a review and remember to provide your email…cuz I'll reply in an email…

Disclaimer: If I owned Teen Titans, I'd make an episode just like this: They would all get shot and die and then they'll be resurrected by X'Hal because she made a deal with the 8th Devil –Trigon– and then so the Titans are back again and Robin has some cool new superpowers but they were too good to be true because he can't control them so he kills everybody and this time X'Hal can't bring them back to life but Robin somehow brought Terra back to life and she goes around asking people if they've seen the Teen Titans but every body says, "They're dead," and Terra says, "Yeah right," and vows to search for the Titans forever and always but she dies from a tragic orange monkey accident and wouldn't that be a cool episode if I owned Teen Titans?

Later days! Until next chapter,

ЖЯдβБΨ ۹Ǻ†ŧỊ€ی™  
---♥--♥---


	3. Too Much Pancakes and SpongeBob

**GAH! **

By Krabby Patties

A/N: This chapter has major fluff. Mostly between Robin and Starfire but a little between Raven and Beast Boy. This chapter begins with major humor and then the second half is major fluff and stuff… Also the random characters in the beginning do have a point in the plot…maybe…

And if you forgot…I had the ideas in this chapter and for the whole storie WAY before the episode "KOLE" was first aired. Must I mention this every chapter? Yes. I must. Why? Yes. I must. But _why_? Yes.

WARNING: This chapter contains pancakes, waffles, bacon, SpongeBob, the mentioning of the term _orgasm_, gangsta bashing, horrible snoring, and… \Shoves head through computer screen\ …Terra…

o.O O.o o.O O.o o.O O.o

**Chapter Three: Too Much Pancakes and SpongeBob**

**-₪- Jump City, California -₪-**

"Get 'em!"

Two young men dressed oddly ran after two black clad robbers down the street. The robbers were both carrying large bags full of ample amounts of money and were cackling evilly. One of the odd men had a toaster for the top of his head and a large bag of waffles on his belt. The other man had frying pan instead of a hand and a spatula for the other. A bag of bacon hung from his belt. There was another odd man who had yelled the order. He had some sort of silver volcano-like spout jutting from the top of his head. He ran after the others.

The odd guys caught up with the robbers and surrounded them.

"So who are you guys?" one of the robbers asked casually.

The leader spout-headed guy heroically put his fists to his hips. "We are the Breakfast Bunch! Surrender or we shall perform acts of breakfast-y justice upon your behinds!"

The two robbers snorted. "What are your names?" the robber asked holding back laughter.

The toaster guy stepped forward and said, "I'm Waffle Wally."

The frying pan guy stepped forward "And I'm Bacon Ben."

The leader stepped forward and over did the whole hero thing by pumping a fist into the air. "And _I'm_ Pancake Jim."

"Pancake _Jim_?" one of the robbers said.

Pancake Jim stopped trying to act heroic. "Yeah. You see, it kind of worked out of Wally and Ben with waffles and bacon. But my name happened to not work out with pancakes. See, Wally, Ben, and Jim are our real names. It was just luck with Wally and Ben, but me, guess not…"

The two robbers looked at each other. "That's…that's nice…" They started running off again.

Pancake Jim bent over and shot a barricade of perfect pancakes out of the silver spout down upon the robbers. The pancakes just hit them and bounced off.

"They have a force shield up. Take it down, Wally!"

The robbers looked back and laugh. "We don't have a force shield up! Your pancakes are just ineffective!"

Waffle Wally took like twenty frozen waffles out of the bag on his belt and stuffed them all into the two slots in the toaster on his head. A couple seconds later, Wally bent over and aimed. His face squished up and the waffles popped out and flew towards the robbers. The waffles did kind of hurt the robbers because they were still a little frozen but that didn't stop them.

When Waffle Wally failed, Bacon Ben went to work. He took a couple slices of bacon from his bag and placed them neatly on his frying pan hand. He used his spatula hand to cook the bacon. A couple seconds later he threw the bacon out at the robbers using the spatula. But it still didn't stop them.

The robbers hijacked a random car and drove off. But just before they disappeared one yelled, "Get some new superpowers, dorks!"

But the really were dorks. They all wore huge glasses with tape and pocket protectors in white shirts with pink stripes or plaid. Their gray pants were held up so high with suspenders that their skin was showing in between the bottom of the pants and the high socks. They were such cliché nerds that it almost looked fake. They looked like a bunch of nerdy nerds whose science fair projects went terribly wrong and turned them into superpowered losers with bad superpowers.

They sulked away having failed to catch some criminals for the umpteenth time.

"I knew we shouldn't have added explosive toxic chemicals to our breakfast…" Pancake Jim muttered.

■□■□■□■□■

**-₪- Somewhere in Nowhere -₪-**

All of the Titans were sitting on the jungle floor around the large bonfire they built. Robin and Starfire sat all by themselves on one side of the fire. They were flirting like crazy again. And Raven, Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Turd—I mean Terra… were sitting on the other side. The fire was so large Robin and Starfire couldn't see the others and vice versa.

"Do you think they're making out yet?" Beast Boy asked boredly.

Cyborg looked up from the stick replica of his car he was building. "Who? Robin and Starfire?"

"No. Me and Raven."

Cyborg squinted his eyes at Beast Boy.

"Of course Robin and Starfire!" Beast Boy threw his hands into the air.

"Oh." Cyborg shrugged and went back to building. "Sure."

Beast Boy rolled his eyes. He put his chin in his hands. "I'm soooo bored."

Raven and Terra were having just as much fun.

"Raven?" Terra asked.

"What?" Raven snapped.

"What does cotton do?"

Raven looked over at Terra. Terra was just sitting there. Where did she think up a question like that? "What?"

"What does cotton do?" Terra said a little more urgently.

"What do you mean, 'What does cotton do?' "

"What does it do?"

Raven looked disgusted at Terra. "My insurance doesn't let me answer questions like that."

"Oh. Okay. I'll ask Robin." Terra stood up and walked away. Raven rolled her eyes and put her chin in her hands. She looked over at Beast Boy and they exchanged glances.

"You bored, Raven?"

"Yeah."

"Me too."

"Yeah…"

Robin was laying on his back. His head was laying in Starfire's lap. She was playing around with his hair as they talked. Very intimate position for two love struck teens that won't admit it but they're in love with each other.

"Ask me another, Robin," Starfire said.

"Okay…" Robin thought for a moment. "Would you rather kiss Red X or run naked through the boys locker room at Jump City Middle?"

Starfire smiled. "It depends. Are you the Red X?"

Robin blushed. "No. I'm not."

Starfire looked disappointed. "Oh. Then I would run naked through the boy's locker room." Starfire giggled. "My turn! Would you rather stick two—"

"Hiya guys!"

Robin shot up like a bullet and Starfire turned sharply around. They was Terra standing right above them.

"Watcha doin'?"

"Nothing…" Robin said. Instead of laying back down Robin turned around to face Starfire and sat Indian style. "Continue Starfire."

Starfire tried to ignore Terra's eyes that bore into the top of her head. "Would you rather stick two M&Ms candies up your nose and dance around like a bird of poultry or do the asking of out upon Kitten?"

Robin laughed. "I would definitely dance around like a chicken!"

Starfire laughed too. "Okay. It is your turn."

"Okay… Would—"

"Oh! I love this game!" Terra exclaimed. She took a seat next to both Robin and Starfire. Robin and Starfire exchanged annoyed glances. "Okay! Here's mine for you Starfire!"

"Umm…okay…" Starfire said.

"Would you rather have a orgasm every time you eat pancakes or every time you have an orgasm, you sing 'Oops I Did It Again' by Brittney Spears?"

"Uh…" Starfire looked at Robin for help.

"Terra," Robin said calmly. "What is wrong with you?"

"Huh?"

"Seriously. When you were born, did you have some sort of stupidity serum?"

Starfire giggled.

"No. I don't even know what that is…" Terra said.

"Then why do you say things that are so disgusting a human body can't handle hearing them?"

Starfire decided to join in the game. "Robin is correct. I believe I have gone deaf because of your statement." She stuck her pinky in her ear and mocked trying to clean it out.

Terra had a blank look on her face. "I don't get what you're saying…"

Robin had a smug look on his face as he folded his arms across his chest and leaned back a little. "My point exactly."

"Anyway… I know something better to do!" Terra jumped up. "Come on everybody!" she yelled. "Let's sing the Campfire Song Song!"

Robin groaned. "Oh god no…"

"Why? What is this Campfire Song Song?" Starfire asked.

Robin just shook his head.

Terra picked up a stick and started strumming it like a guitar. She then started dancing around the campfire and started singing.

"**_Let's gather 'round the campfire  
And sing our campfire song  
The C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song  
And if you think that we can't sing it faster  
Then you're wrong  
But it would help if you just sing along…_**

"**_Bum bum bum…_**

"C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song  
C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song  
And if you think that we can't sing it faster  
Then you're wrong  
But it'll help if you just sing along

"**_C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song_**"

Terra pointed to Raven. "Raven!"

Raven just sat there not saying anything.

She pointed to Robin. "Robin!" And Robin flipped her off.

"Good!" Terra then landed on her knees and started singing really dramatically.

"**_It would help  
It would heeeelp  
If you just sing along_**

"OH YEAH!" Terra stood up and smashed her stick on the ground until it was in little pieces. She sat down and brushed herself off. "Now wasn't that relaxing?"

"No!" they all screamed and they sounded oddly like a certain Squidward from a certain awesome show called SpongeBob.

"What-eva," Terra said as if she were ghetto. "You playa hatas be straight up trippin' anyway. " She held up a piece sign. "Word."

Robin stood up. "Okay guys," he announced. "I think it's time to go to sleep. Everyone will take hour long watches. I'll go first. Cyborg will go next." Cyborg nodded. "Then Terra. Then Raven, Beast Boy and Starfire."

"Oh I see how it is." Terra was still in her gangsta mode. "Give Starfire the most time to sleep. 'Iight." She stood up. "You can hate on us like that. But…" She put a figure on Robin's chest and he raised an eyebrow. "You…" She put a thumb on her chest. "Me… Rap battle. Tomorrow. Be there or be square."

"I'd rather be square. Thanks." Robin walked away and joined the others in making an area to sleep.

Terra followed Robin. "Oh. So it's like that. Okay Robin. Right here. Right now." Robin just ignored her and kept moving leaves around. "I'll start…" she said. "_Hommie, you ain't cool. You a fool. You go to school while I'm at the pool._" Terra closed her eyes, puckered her lips, and started nodding her head. "To the"—She made an X shape with her arms out in front of her—"max."

By now everyone had chosen a spot on in the leaves on the ground. "Shut up Terra!" Cyborg yelled from the ground. "You're. Not. Ghetto."

Terra's jaw dropped. "What ch-you talkin' 'bout Willis?"

"Please do the sleeping process now…" a sleepy Starfire mumbled.

Terra folded her arms across her chest as if she were cool. "I'm like an Uh-Oh Oreo. White on the outside. Black on the inside."

"SHUT UP!"

Terra finally laid down on the spot. "It's cuz I'm white."

Everyone groaned.

■□■□■□■□■

Robin watched everyone. Raven was the first to fall asleep. He could tell by the slow and steady rise and fall of her chest. She was closest to the fire which had died down slightly. Next was Beast Boy. He was also close to the fire. It was fun watching Beast Boy sleep. He had the same expression on the whole time. A loving smirk. Anyone could tell what Beast Boy was thinking about. But the constant whispering of Raven's name just gave it away. Then a little later Beast Boy woke up. He smiled at Robin slightly and then transformed into a huge fluffy Bengal tiger. He padded over to Raven, whom he noticed was shivering, and curled around her. In her sleep, Raven snuggled into him and almost disappeared in the mass of fur. Despite Robin's dark outlook on life, he thought this was adorable. Then he quickly shunned that thought out of his head.

Terra. He didn't even care if Terra was sleeping or not. But he had to make sure she was alive whether he liked it or not. And she was… She laid on the back with her arms and legs spread open wide and was snoring. It was Terra's official snore. No one had ever heard anything like it. It sounded like a constipated man who was eating a juicy watermelon. It was…scary. Robin remembered how long ago, on that first night Terra stayed in her own room, no one could sleep. It was overwhelming. But everyone was too tired to get up and say something. Starfire was scared out her wits. It's not her fault she had never heard a thing like it and thought it was something like an attack from the Gordanians or something… She had ran into Robin's room and jumped on him. She started screaming her head off and kept saying that we were all going to die. Once Robin had finally calmed her down he explained that it was Terra snoring. No matter how many times Robin explained it to her she was still scared. Robin became so tired he just fell asleep in the middle of explaining it to Starfire for the hundredth time. The next morning when he woke up, he found Starfire under the covers, her head buried in into his chest and her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. Robin had to repeat over and over to himself that it wasn't anything intimate and that Starfire was just scared.

Robin chuckled from the memory. He was so immature back then…

Cyborg was farthest away from the fire. The only way Robin could tell he was a asleep was by the dimming of his red eye. Cyborg's red eye, his organs, and body parts were the only thing that worked in/on him. Robin tried figuring out why this was possible but it just made his brain hurt.

And then there was Starfire. His angel. She was laying closest to Robin. But Robin had sat up against a tree that was right next to her… Terra was right about one thing. He did want Starfire to get a good sleep. There wasn't a difference in the length of sleep (everyone was going to sleep for the same amount of time) but he didn't want Starfire to have to wake up and then have to go to sleep again. Sure, you can call that favoritism. Even Robin himself admitted he treated Starfire better than the others. He knew it was a horrible thing to do, but he couldn't help it. Starfire was just too important to him. He knew that the team would end up hanging over a two pits of lava (Starfire over one and the others over the other). There was ten seconds until they were lowered into the pits of lava and burnt to death. And Robin would have to choose from either Starfire or the others; he didn't have enough time to save both. What would he do then? Sure, Robin could try and pull off a Spiderman but that was in a movie…not real life. These were the images that haunted his mind when he slept. They were in all different forms but meant the same thing. Like there is another where he and Starfire were naked and rolling all over the ground together and then every villain they've every fought were in the background torturing the other Titans. Yeah, his dreams were pretty graphic.

When Robin woke up from the dreams he used to vow that that day he would treat Starfire the same as the others. But he started failing. When they trained, Robin made sure he was against Starfire so there would be no accidents where Starfire would get hurt. When he realized this, Robin tried harder and came to just ignoring Starfire. Starfire would ask him a question and then he would just walk away. He continued for the whole day until Starfire broke down crying. He had felt horrible. But when he begged for her forgiveness, she forgave him though he didn't deserve it. And Robin felt so bad for hurting her, he would go out and buy her some flowers or chocolate and went back to the whole favoritism thing. Then he realized he was getting too close and would ignore her again. It was a constant cycle and he hated himself for it. He was always hurting her but she would always forgive him. Robin wished that just one time, one time, he would get on his knees and beg but Starfire would just slap him across the face. And make it a hard slap with her Tamaranean strength in it so it really hurt. Maybe it would have knocked some sense into him. But he knew she would never do that. She was too kind and caring. That's why Starfire was Starfire. That's why he loves her.

But that was in the past. In the past year, the whole cycle fell behind him. He didn't use it anymore. It all started when Starfire had chicken pox for the first time. She had contracted it from some kid at a day care where the Titans had volunteered to play around with the kids. And on Tamaran there was no such thing as chicken pox or even anything close. So she had it bad. For a whole month she couldn't fight or walk or even literally lift a finger. She was so frail and weak. The whole time Robin sat in the room with her. Sometimes, just rarely, when Starfire was too scared to be alone, Robin would skip missions to stay with her.

Then one day Raven and Cyborg announced that she wasn't going to make it. Robin was so dumbstruck, he didn't talk the whole day. He whole stayed in the infirmary holding Starfire's hand. And then when the others were out on a mission which Robin had once again skipped, Starfire's heartbeat slowed down to almost stopping. Robin would have called the others but he knew it wouldn't have mattered. And just before her heart stopped for good, Starfire managed to whisper that she would miss him. Robin said he would miss her back and tightened the grip on her hand. Robin tried to stay strong in Starfire's last moments but he just broke down crying.

It was the first time he had cried in a long time. He had even stopped crying over his parents death a long, long time ago. But he sobbed into his hands. Starfire never, in all her years knowing Robin, had ever seen him cry. Never. And because of this, she somehow pushed herself to sit up and hug Robin. Robin was frozen. Starfire hadn't moved in a month but she did now. And as he hugged her back he noticed her heartbeat had quickened. She was going to live. Starfire was so close to death but she lived. So it turned out that that sudden burst of energy by moving had triggered something in her Tamaranean anatomy that stopped her demise and started healing her. It was crazy. The next week, Starfire was up and out in missions again. It was as if she had never laid on that death bed.

That experience changed Robin's life forever. Robin found out that that saying "You never know what you have until it's gone" or something like that, applied to himself. Even though he didn't lose Starfire, he still learned how much she meant to him. He realized he reacted so badly to her almost-death because he loved her. (This was a couple months before they found Terra.) Robin followed his heart and he and Starfire grew so much closer. That's why they flirted all the time. You would think that the almost-death would knock Robin and Starfire to their senses. Nope. Robin still hadn't admitted his feeling to Starfire and Starfire hadn't either. Yet they felt so much closer. Maybe one day it would happen…

Robin woke up from his memories. He wasn't asleep. He was kinda daydreaming…but was still alert for anything bad thing that could happen. Robin looked at Cyborg. _Had it been an hour yet?_ …_Sure._ He got up and shook Cyborg. Cyborg's red eye brightened and he got up.

"My turn already?"

"Yeah." Robin instinctively headed to where Starfire was sleeping. He laid down facing her. Starfire stirred and opened her eyes. "Did I wake you?" Robin asked.

"Yes. But that is okay." She inched closer to him and held onto him just like way back when, when Starfire was scared of Terra's snoring. And in turn Robin took in his cape and wrapped it around both of them. Although a cold breeze started to blow, Robin and Starfire felt warm…

Because they had each other.

o.O O.o o.O O.o o.O O.o

A/N: Pretty swell, eh? You know it! I love making Terra acting like she's gangsta! It's so fun! LOLO!

Disclaimer: I do not own SpongeBob, or any of it's songs and characters. If I owned Teen Titans, I'd make an episode just like this: I'd make myself a character in the show and I'd go talk to the Titans and be like, "Let's bounce!" And then we get in Cyborg's ghetto T-Car and go drive to a bangin' party full of some totally gangsta homies. So I'd go to those totally gangsta homies I'd be like, "Who be you?" And they'd get all attitudinal and be like, "Who be _you_?" And then we'd get in a big fight calling each other ghetto fabulous names like wangsta and playa hata and dip stick. And cuz some rockin' peeps get all pissed off they leave and do a drive by shooting on the house. And then police'll come up and be like, "Yo doggs! This party is off da hook!" So we all start parting, strutting our totally ghetto moves like the 1, 2 step. But there would never be an episode like that because I don't own Teen Titans.

Later days! Until next chapter,

ЖЯдβБΨ ۹Ǻ†ŧỊ€ی™  
---♥--♥---


	4. WAY Too Much Pancakes and SpongeBob

**GAH!  
**By Krabby Patties

A/N: Hi people! I'm back… Sorry about the wait. Teen Titans is pretty much boring now. But I'm going to start working on this story and Affliction too. I'll try to work on them everyday, but I'm getting so much homework in school now that it should be illegal.

Well, GAH! This chapter's pretty cool. But, it goes from like ' yay!' to 'blah!' to 'SWEET!' I have to say, I think this chapter is the best chapter I've ever written.

And if you forgot…I had the ideas in this chapter and for the whole storie WAY before the episode "KOLE" was first aired. I think I'll stopping saying this…

WARNING: This chapter contains a crazy prank, pancakes, a bazooka, SpongeBob, a Villain's Convention, death, more pancakes, more SpongeBob, Ketchup-and-Mustard, a giant fight over Starfire, a visit from some special comic book characters, and… Gives self unending swirleys in a public restroom and drowns to death …Terra…

o.O O.o o.O O.o o.O O.o

**Chapter Four: WAY Too Much Pancakes and SpongeBob**

So.

((A/N: This'll be the 'yay!' part…))

At dawn, the Titans were fully awakened… Well except Terra…

"GAH! I can't take it!" Cyborg covered his ears. "Her snoring is getting worse every second!"

Beast Boy pushed Cyborg forward. "Well, wake her up!"

"Are you playing around! Yeah right!" In turn, Cyborg pushed Starfire forward. "You wake her up!"

"No! I do not wish to!" Starfire pushed Robin.

Robin spun around and caught her hands. "No. Way." He dragged Starfire farther back. "You two can do it," he said to Beast Boy and Cyborg.

Beast Boy and Cyborg both stood on either side of Raven and grabbed both of her arms. They pulled her forward until they were leaning over Terra. Raven wrenched her arms away.

"Alright!" Raven examined Terra, thinking of the best way to wake her up. "Go get me some water."

Beast Boy transformed into an elephant and sucked in some water from the nearby stream through his trunk. He then carried it over to Raven, who grabbed his green trunk and used it as a hose. She poured a waterfall of water all over Terra's crotch and stomach. Because of the sudden coldness in her lower areas, Terra shot up. Everyone turned around and pretended to be chatting nonchalantly to each other. Terra stood up and didn't even notice the wetness.

"Hiya guys!" she screamed. A few weirdo birds took off from their trees and flew away.

Robin and Starfire, who had been flirting and not paying attention to what Raven had done, started doubling over, laughing hysterically, when they spotted Terra.

"What!" Terra said as Beast Boy and Cyborg started laughing too. Raven, who was proud of her work, even let out a little smile. "Waddid I do!"

"You seemed to have released fluid as you slept," said Starfire in between laughs.

"What's that mean?" Terra asked like the stupid monkey she is. Everyone else tried to answer her but they were all laughing too hard.

"You peed in your pants," Raven simply said.

Terra looked down at herself. Her face grew noticeably redder. "Oh my golly gosh! I'll… I'll be right back!" Terra ran off into the woods.

"Take your time!" Beast Boy yelled after her.

Cyborg put a hand on Raven's shoulder and shook his head in silent laughter. "Man! Raven, that was the best!" He held up a hand for Raven to hi-five. Raven just stared at the hand and Cyborg dropped it. "Sorry…"

■□■□■□■□■

((A/N: This'll be the 'blah!' part.))

Terra stumbled through the thick, matted leaves and branches. She tripped many times over roots she never noticed. And one time when she tripped, she landed head first into a huge pile of crap…

Terra stood up and wiped the rancid brown substance off her face. She shook her hands trying to shake the presents off. "Eww! Like, nasty! I soo need a shower!"

So Terra continued on through the jungle in search of…

Wait a minute!

Terra didn't even know why she left the others! What the heck was she doing!

So Terra continued for what seemed like days (but in actuality, a couple minutes…) in a dirty, morbid, ripped-up, wet uniform. She didn't eat any food or water for a long time (not really…). So to keep her mind off of her empty stomach, she started singing…you know…with that horrible, horrible voice…

"**_It's shaping up to be a wonderful holiday  
Not your normal, average everyday  
Sounds like someone filled my old coral tree  
SpongeBob, Patrick, why'd you do this to me?  
The world feels like it's in loverly  
Go away before I harm you bodily!  
This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to me_**

"_**There'll be shopping, decorating, and plenty of snow  
Hey, Patrick, who's that under the mistletoe?  
What? Who me? Would you look at the time, I should go**_

"_**People seem a little more brotherly  
Here's a special something from you to me  
Even all the trash on Christmas, it smells so sweetly  
This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to me"**_

Terra then started spinning around and falling over a couple times.

"**_La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la  
La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la-la_**

"_**What do you want? Can't you see that I'm busy?  
Step outside, we've got something for you to see  
SpongeBob, take this stuff down immediately!  
Chestnuts roasting and burns to the third degree**_

"_**Tonight things are as good as they seem to be  
A star on top will complete all the scenery  
This Christmas feels like the—"**_

She started singing in an annoyingly loud high-pitched voice. If anyone were around, they would surely either drop dead or shoot themselves.

"—_**very first Christmas to me!  
This Christmas feels like the very first Christmas to meeeeee!"**_

-Insert an overly dramatic pose**_-_**

…

Then Terra started to really get crazy. She started having hallucinations…

"I am Agent Botux…" Terra held out her hands into gun and did a summersault upon the 'asphalt.' Terra imagined herself outside of a deathly-looking abandoned warehouse. She hid behind a 'dumpster' or tree stump and held a hand to her ear. "Ksshh… Contacting base of operations. Do you read?"

'Loud and clear, agent,' came the "reply."

"Ksshh… I'm a located outside of the Secret Society headquarters. But I don't see any sign of forced entry."

'Enter through the main door. Study the perimeters inside.'

"Kssh… Understood. Over and out."

Terra did some rolls and hid behind other trees and what have you. She finally stopped behind one large tree and ducked down. Then she started breathing deeply…

"They know I'm here… They've caught me…"

A curious little prehistoric animal poked its head out beside Terra. She looked down at it. What she saw was some black-clad ninja.

"AAAAAAAAH!" Terra screamed and started 'shooting' at the 'ninja.'

Then the scene changed…

Terra stood in a room that belonged in a soap opera. She sat down upon a comfy dining chair at a dining table that was located behind her and started crying.

"Constanople!" she sobbed. "How could you do this to me!"

Some queer looking guy with fake biceps and also looked like he belonged in a soap opera, sat down beside Terra.

"I'm sorry! She's…she's just so…" Constanople's eyes lit up. "Irresistible…"

Terra uncovered her face. "But what about me! We've eaten at this table together every night! And now you want another woman!"

The gay looking guy stood up. He looked down at Terra's longing face and dramatically looked away. "I'm…sorry…"

Terra started crying uncontrollably again. "I knew it! I knew it! The moment I saw you looking down at her I knew you were cheating!"

Constanople sat down again. "I'm sorry! She just tastes so good!"

Terra dramatically held out a hand. "Please. Don't tell me what she _tastes_ like!"

Constanople scooted his chair closer to Terra's. "But…have you ever tried her…?"

"No…"

He reached across the table and brought back a plate of pancakes. "You must try her!"

Terra took the fork that lay beside the plate and took a gollywapping amount of pancake. She stuffed it all into her mouth and started chewing. Once she had swallowed, her eyes lit up. "Oh my! She does taste good!" They hugged romantically. "Now I know why you have fallen in love with her!"

Terra woke up from the hallucination and found that she was hugging a tree.

"Tree hugger!" someone yelled.

She spun around and found two boys laughing hysterically. She pulled a bazooka outta nowhere and started blasting the kids two pieces. Blood and chucks of meat were splattering all over the place. Terra smiled evilly and kept blasting although it was very clear the children where dead.

Then suddenly Terra got shot in the back. She dropped her awesome gun and keeled over. Blood started dripping out of her mouth and onto the ground. She managed to turn and see who attacked her and found that a large crowd of people had surrounded her. She tried to stand but she fell to the ground. She wasn't going to make it. So Terra lay on her back dying as some people just stood there and watched.

She managed to sit up a little bit and said in a cool Austrian accent that sounded oddly like Arnold Schwartzenager (sp?), "I'll be back..." Then she fell back for the last time…

But she then quickly sat up again and said without the accent, "Again." And she finally lay down for the last time. Again.

■□■□■□■□■

Okay.

So. The Titans had built another fire and were all (…including Raven) dancing around it and holding hands as if they were part of a cult. They were singing a song that oddly went to the tune of the SpongeBob theme song. Beast Boy started it.

"**_Ooooooooooooooooooooooooh….  
Who lives in our Tower and is a monkey?_**" 

"**_Terra! Terra!" _**the rest chanted.

Cyborg: **_"Blonde and ugly and stupid is she."_**

"_**Terra! Terra!"**_

Starfire: **_"If ignorance be something you wish…"_**

"Terra! Terra!" 

Robin: **_"Then call up Terra. It'll be your death wish!" _**((A/N: Sorry… I know I rhymed "wish" with "wish"… Is that a problem? Well, I hate you too!))

"_**Terra! Terra!**_

"**_Ter-ra, Ter-ra  
Ter-ra, Ter-ra  
Ter-ra, Ter-ra  
Terra-aaa, Terra-aaaaah!_**"

"YAY!" they all screamed and fell over: Robin and Starfire fell on top of each other, giggling madly; Cyborg and Beast Boy almost fell into the fire but managed to stop in time; and Raven kinda just…sat… And there were a few moments of calm silence until Robin interrupted.

"You know what's tragic…?"

"What?" Starfire asked.

"I bet every villain has just about killed everybody in the city and everything is burning to the ground right now…"

"Is that all you every think about Robin?" Beast Boy said. "I mean, it's always, villain this, villain that; Slade this, Slade that; city this and city that! Live a little!"

"Amen!" Cyborg exclaimed. "Preached like a true Godly man!"

Robin scowled.

Beast Boy continued. "This is like a vacation!"

"How?" Robin stood up. "Beast Boy, we're stranded in the past with no way home! I don't think this is my definition of 'vacation.' "

"Well," Raven lowered her hood and smirked. "There's no Terra."

Robin nodded. "I guess you're right…"

"Of course she's right!" Beast Boy yelled jovially. "Terra's gone for good!"

Everyone started screaming gleefully and when things died down Robin said, "But still… I wonder… What _is_ going on in Jump City…"

"Yeah…" Cyborg said thoughtfully, "You think some new superheroes took over our job?"

This statement made everyone think. Robin, who had his hand on his chin and was thinking deeply, said, "Possibly…" ((A/N: Hint hint!))

"What about the evil villains? Do you think they have surrendered?" Starfire asked and searched everyone's eyes or faces for answers when she didn't receive any response.

And Raven said, "No. Of course they haven't."

Starfire shrugged. "It was merely a hypothesis…"

It became silent again as everyone went to thinking. Beast Boy shook his head and said, "Dudes, we're over thinking this… If we think anymore about this, we'll turn into Robin." Cyborg and Starfire sort of giggled, but Robin gave Beast Boy a horrible…horrible…HORRIBLE…hand gesture. He seemed to be doing a lot ever since Terra 'came around the mountain.'

■□■□■□■□■

((A/N: This be the 'SWEET!' part.))

**-₪- Jump City, California -₪-**

So we once again visit Jump City, the home of the famous Teen Titans. Which is also the home of many infamous villains. And that is exactly who the section is based upon, those infamous villains.

"Alright. Alright! ALRIGHT! EVERYONE SHUT UP!"

Okay. So, every villain in Jump City is sitting in this extremely large and dark room. Everyone _was_ chatting nonchalantly until the leader of this meeting of villains so rudely interrupted their very important conversations. Who is the leader you ask? Well, none other than…not Slade…but…Control Freak…! YAY!

And so Control Freak says, "We are gathered here today—"

"This sounds like a flipping wedding to me!" the oh-so-thinks-he's-funny Adonis yelled. Everyone snickered.

"SHUT UP!" CF yelled and the room quieted. "So…I've called this meeting to order because…I don't know if any of you have noticed…you may have not…because you're all stupid…and I'm awesome…and—"

"Git on with it!" Mad Mod yelled in his British accent.

CF held up his hands defensively. "Hey! Hey! I'm not the one who looks like a freakin' geezer." He then spoke like an attitudinal teenage girl who thinks she's cool but she's not. "Okaaaaaaay?" He included that hand motion that I can't explain but it's something like making a quick dip with your hand and making it wavy…told you I couldn't explain it… But…the room erupted in laughs and comments on how Mad Mod _does_ look like a 'freakin'' geezer.'

From the left-hand side of the room, Slade arose and pulled out that cool machine gun that he would be carrying around if he were called 'Deathstroke' and not 'Slade.' He cocked it and pointed out into the room. "Cease and desist!" he boomed and the room grew so quiet with fear you could hear a teenage girl's cell phone ring…wait…you can always hear that…no matter how loud the room is… "Shut up for the rest of this meeting before I annihilate you all as I have tried but failed to do to the Titans but that's 'cause I let them win every—…" Slade broke off into a deep thought and lowered the gun.

The room grew loud again and some said things like, "Yeah…the only reason why_ I_ always lose to the Titans is because I let them win too…riiiight…" and "Pfft! Since when, Slade-o!" and "You know…I've always wondered if Slade has a six pack… Do you think he has a six pack? I think he has a six pack. But that's just me… What do you guys think? Six pack or no six pack…?"

Slade pulled out the machine gun again and roared, "YOU ALL THINK I'M LYING!" He shot and killed a villain who may or may not have been Brother Blood, _who_ may or may not have said the comment about Slade's six pack. Slade merely sat down after his _little_ outburst that may or may not have ended in murder.

"Okay people…" Control Freak-eziod said. "As I was saying before…I don't know if any of you have noticed…but when we go out to do our dirty little crimes…those damned Teen Titans haven't shown up to stop us…" This created a loud murmur between the villains.

A man who we all know as Billy Numerous raised a hand. "Do ya think they're dead?" This created more talking.

CF had a very smug look on his face… "Well…earlier I—" …but it disappeared when someone interrupted him.

"Okay. I'm sorry, but this guy's starting to stink!" Everyone turned back and found that hot guy name Aqualad pointing downward to the cold lifeless body of someone who may or may not been Brother Blood. And next to him were those other guys… What are they're names again…? Oh yes! Bumblebee, Speedy, and Mas y Menos!

"Whoa, whoa, whoa… Wait a freakin' minute…" Things started registering in Control Freak's head. "Aren't you guys them Titans East? What the freak are you _heroes_ doing here!"

The Titans turned around at the same time and pretended to be looking around the room for someone. They then turned back and faced the mass of villains staring at them.

"Who?" Bumblebee put a hand to her chest. "_Us_?"

"Yeah!" some villain yelled.

"You mean…" Speedy looked at his companions. "**US**?"

"Yeah! You!"

"Nacho Conqueso!" Mas y Menos said in unison.

The villains looked at each other trying to figure out what they just said. But one dude, who may or may not have been Mammoth, yelled, "Oui! J'ai une derrière grande!" and someone else, who may or may not have been Gizmo, smacked him over the head and said, "That's French, you pitt-sniffin' snot-face! They speak Spanish!"

Aqualad had a look of pure disbelief. "Are you saying…" He looked around. "…you think that_ we're_ the _Titans East!_"

"YES!" every single person that happened to be present yelled.

"Oh," Aqualad said, " 'Cause we're not…"

"…Oh for the love of Green Arrow's boxer shorts—" Speedy put his hands in the air. "This is a _Villains'_ Convention! No superheroes! DUH!"

Everyone nodded to each other in agreement. "Yeah. I guess they're right…" And they turned back to Control Freak.

"Désolé! C'est une méprise!" Control Freak yelled back to the not-Titans East, waving.

Slade once again stood up and pointed his gun to CF. "Okay. The next person who speaks in French is going to get his head blown off and we'll dress your dead body up in lingerie!" He calmly sat down.

Control Freak's eye twitched. "I do _not _want to be on his bad side…" He dusted his front off and got back to business. "As I was saying…where have the Titans gone?" People started yelling out answers. "Shut up! It was a freakin' rhetorical question! Gosh! Anyways…I walked up the Tower one day and rang the doorbell…but I got no answer!"

The crowd gasped…"GASP!"

"And I even told them it was me!"

"NO WAY!"

"Well, who's gonna seriously answer the door if you know Control Freak's standing out there?"

Everyone turned backwards in their seats with angry faces on.

"Sorry!" Speedy yelled. "I didn't mean it!"

Everyone turned back to Control Freak. "Okay… So now that the Titans are gone…what do we do?"

"We could take over the world and turn it into good ol' England!" Mad Mod yelled out.

Control Freak puckered his bottom lip and held his chin in his hand, altogether making a thinking position. "Possible…possible…"

"We could steal money from every bank in Jump City and use it to buy a giant gold statue of a headless rabid chicken!" Mumbo Jumbo yelled out.

"Not a bad idea…" Control Freak started writing all these things down.

"We could take their Tower and turn it into a day spa!" Johnny Rancid yelled.

Control Freak nodded vigorously and wrote that down.

Slade had to stand up for this one. "I say, we raid Robin's room, steal all his uniforms, dress up like him, and run around the city yelling things like, 'Starfire rocks my socks!' and 'My tights are too tight!' And if you don't like my idea…" He pulled out his machine gun. "…I'll make your guts explode!" He cocked the gun, waiting for anybody to disagree with him.

And because everyone was scared, they all started clapping and whistling and yelling out how brilliant the idea was. When things died down, people started yelling out more ideas including one from Speedy…

"We should all go eat pancakes and watch SpongeBob!"

Everyone noisily turned around to face him. There was no distinguishing emotion on anyone's face. Then suddenly Slade stood up and everyone started getting scared. But instead of shooting, he started clapping. Then Johnny Rancid stood up and started clapping too, you know, just to look good. And soon the whole room had stood up and was clapping.

"What a brilliant idea, you-who-looks-like-Speedy-but-obviously-is-not-because-this-is-a-_Villains'_-Convention! Brilliant!" Control Freak yelled out.

Speedy had a wide smile on and was flashing it off to everyone who was still clapping.

**-₪- An hour later -₪-**

"What kind of pancakes did you get, Slade?" Control Freak asked with a mouth full of pancakes.

"I got banana…" Slade answered and looked down at his untouched plate.

"Well, why aren't you eating it?" Johnny Rancid asked, shoveling another forkful in.

" 'Cause I'm watching SpongeBob!" Slade snapped his head around to face Rancid. His eye twitched and he pulled out his gun. "Interrupt me as I watch SpongeBob again and I'll make sure people can't tell the difference between your face and your backside!"

"Sorry!" Rancid picked up his plate and quickly moved to sit with Speedy and the gang at the other villainous dinning table. When he sat, the Titans East looked disgusted at him.

"Uh…hi…" Aqualad said and went back to enjoying the greatest underwater TV show of all time. The episode happened to be one containing the two greatest characters of all time…Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy!

Rancid pointed his fork to the TV as he spoke, "You know, if real heroes were like them two…I wouldn't beat the crap out of them…"

"You mean like Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy?" Speedy asked before Bumblebee could.

"Yeah! Those two guys rock my tattoos! …Say," he pointed his fork to Speedy, "if you ain't Speedy, then what do I call ya?"

"Uuh…" Speedy racked the room for any form of a name. "My name is…" His eye caught the ketchup bottle on the table in front of him. "Ketchup…"

"Ketchup?" Rancid asked, chewing his pancakes in a disgusted way.

"…and…Mustard! Yeah! That's my name! Ketchup-and-Mustard!"

"……………………Sure. You know, I heard that hot alien from the Teen Titans is obsessed with mustard. What's her name again?"

"Oh you mean Starfire!" Aqualad said, joining the conversation. "Yeah, she is pretty hot."

"Señorita Starfire…" Mas y Menos leaned into each other in a whole day-dreaming state. Pink hearts floated around them.

Speedy slammed his fist on the table. "But damn Robin's got her."

Rancid pointed his fork at Speedy and spoke while chewing. "Why don-chu just annihilate Robin and take Starfire to be yours?"

"Well, that's my motive as a villain," Speedy said.

"I see. So _that's_ why you're a villain…" Johnny looked at the TV for a moment but then back at Speedy or Ketchup-and-Mustard… "That's nice."

"It is NOT nice because Starfire's mine!" Aqualad yelled and his eyebrow twitched.

Speedy put on a very angry face and slowly rose out of his seat. "What did you just say to me?" he said quickly.

Aqualad also rose. "I said, you're an ugly butt-muncher who only wants girls you can't have but I can!"

Mas y Menos jumped up on the table and said some crazy Spanish stuff like "Bano, bano!" that probably meant something like, "Dudes! If you guys keep getting your tights in a bunch, a giant cheese roller will land in the ocean!" or maybe they said, "Hey! Starfire is our woman!"

"Shut up, guys!" Bumblebee said.

Mustard-and-Ketchup pulled out his bow and pointed an arrow at Aqualad. "She's mine!"

Aqualad pulled some water pipes out of the floor and pointed them at Speedy, ready to shoot rapid amounts of water at him. "She's MINE!"

Slade stood up and pulled out his gun. "I don't know what you guys are talking about but…SHE'S MINE DAMMIT!" He lowered his gun "…What _are_ you guys talking about?"

"STARFIRE!" Speedy, Aqualad, and Mas y Menos yelled in unison.

"Oh…" Slade raised his gun again and cocked it. "Well, SHE'S DEFINETLY MINE!"

"Are you stupid!" Control Freak yelled. "I'm the sexy one here! SHE'S MINE!" He pulled out a lightsaber.

"SHE'S MINE, ASH HOLES!" Mad Mod yelled and pointed his cane at random people.

"WHAT!" Speedy and Aqualad said in unison.

So this whole argument broke out. And people were using their superpowers against each other in the name of true love.

"**_SHE'S MINE, CRACK HEADS!_**"

Suddenly everybody stopped fighting and searched the room for the source of such a bold statement. And there was some funky dude wearing a Robin costume but without tights, just a scaly pair of green undies, Peter Pan shoes, and no spiky hair. And next to him was some freakish lady with massive amounts of think curly red hair, single-ly colored green eyes, and the most revealing outfit you've ever seen. It looks like she put it through a paper shredder and then put it on.

"Yeah. That's right, buckos. I said it." The guy said.

Even with his mask on, everyone could tell Slade had a pretty disgusted face on. "And who the Hellenistic do you think you are?"

The dude folded his arms across his chest. "I'm Robin." Everyone gasped. "…Well, from the original Teen Titans comic books…"

"They have a comic book?" Control freak yelled. "No fair! I want a comic book!"

Robin-from-the-comic-book motioned to the lady standing next to him. "And this is Starfire…from the comic book."

"Starfire!" came the high-pitched girly scream from every male in the room. But then it turned to confusion. "Starfire?" And then they really examined her outfit… "STARFIRE!"

"And like I was saying, Starfire is MINE. Have you never read the comics?" Everyone shook his or her heads. "Okay fine but—wait a minute…" Robin-from-the-comic-book turned Starfire-from-the-comic-book around and stuffed his hand into her hair. He started searching for something. "Wait for it… Hold on… Aha!" He pulled a small piece of paper out and held it up. "See!"

Everyone leaned forward and squinted their eyes trying to read what it said on the miniscule piece of paper. "Property…of…Robin…" And it hit them like a bucket of bird poop. "OOOOOOOOH!" They all nodded their heads, understanding everything.

"Oh okay."

"I get it now."

"Of course."

"Makes sense."

And they went back to eating their pancakes and watching SpongeBob.

o.O O.o o.O O.o o.O O.o

**SPECIAL BONUS PART:**

A bunch of crazy Teen Titan fans jumped through the windows. "No way! Starfire is Raven's!" one dork yelled. She held up a sign that read 'RAE PLUS STAR EQUALS ROBIN SUCKS!'

"What the Hellenistic!" some other girl yelled. "It's Star and Robin all the way!" She held up a sign that said 'PERVERTS ARE FOR RAExSTAR!'

Some other freak jumped in front of the others. "Yeah right, monkeys! It's Star and Speedy all the way!"

Speedy pumped his fist in the air. "Yes…"

"I thought you weren't Speedy," Johnny Rancid commented.

"Oh yeah…"

"Nuh uh, freaks! Starfire has a masculine heart! It's Rae and Star all the way!"

The RobRae fangirls entered holding signs that said 'LET'S BASH SLASH!' and 'EMO SUICIDAL CUTTERS BELONG TOGETHER! ROBIN AND RAVEN 4 EVER!'

A horde of girl's dressed like Slade blasted a hole in the wall and marched in. They pointed guns at the other fangirls. At the front of the battalion they held a banner that said 'SLADE LIKES YOUNGER WOMEN. SUPPORT THE SLADExSTAR TROOPS.'

Slade jumped out and into the future war zone. He faced the RaeStar, StarSpeedy, and RobRae fangirls. "Let my fan people go!" He pulled out his gun and shot a bullet into the air. "COME ON, LADIES! IT'S FANGIRL MASSACRE TIME!" He raced forward shooting his gun and his fangirls ran after him, yelling and shooting their own guns.

Seven and a quarter hours later, it ended, the greatest battle of all time. No one will forget this.

Casualties: None.

Winner of this war: Funshine the Carebear.

o.O O.o o.O O.o o.O O.o

A/N: If you did not find the part with all the villains and the Titans East and everything FUNNY then you must be a playa hata-ing, monkey eating, fish cutting, pumpkin licking, drive-by shooting, trying to be a ninja, cold hearted, LOSER! I mean seriously! This had to be the best chapter! It rocked! I loved writing it! Everytime I read it I laugh!

Disclaimer: I do not own SpongeBob, or any of its songs and characters or Funshine. If I owned Teen Titans, I'd make an episode just like this: The Titans go to an amusement park and Robin and Starfire go on a Ferris wheel and then when there's fireworks Starfire gets stoled away by some purple octopus aliens. But Starfire whoops its butt. And then Blackfire comes and she's like, "Hello sister dear." And Starfire's all happy when Blackfire gives Starfire a necklace. But then it turns out Blackfire was framing Starfire and trying to take her place on the team and Robin. So they call up the space jail people and they take Blackfire away and… Oh wait… They already made an episode like that… Oops… See if I owned Teen Titans I would have remembered before I typed that all up!

I'm thumbing through the pages of my fantasies,  
ЖЯдβБΨ ۹Ǻ†ŧỊ€ی™


	5. The Ninja Centerfold

**GAH!  
**By Krabby Patties

A/N: Beware! I have some entrances from the characters of the show 'Naruto.' And there's a little SasuSaku. If you're not a fan of that paring and you're a monkey who likes NaruSasu or KakaSaku or any other disgusting paring, then DEAL WITH IT!

Guess what! I had one of the ideas in this chapter AFTER "Kole" came out! Osm!

WARNING: This chapter contains a random banana, another death, a TINY mentioning of Nightwing's hotness, Diana, Make-Out Paradise, a giant snake, and… /Swallows a CD whole and chokes to death/ …Terra…

o.O O.o o.O O.o o.O O.o

**Chapter Five: The Ninja Centerfold**

**-₪- Somewhere on the outskirts of insanity -₪-**

Terra walked on and on, determined to do whatever she left to do…

"Those gosh darned hallucinations made me forget what the Hellenistic I traveled all the freakin' way out here for," she muttered to herself. Feeling hungry, she randomly picked up a random banana that lay on the random jungle floor. She was just about to peel it open when…

"MINE!" A giant gorilla leapt down from the trees and grabbed the banana straight out of her hands. He landed a couple feet away and started eating the banana.

Instead of attacking it, Terra examined the gorilla. He had a silver sash thing… He didn't look familiar. She put on her thinking cap and pondered about how she didn't know this ape. Where had she not seen him? This was very not interesting.

Terra stuck her pointer finger in the air. "I don't know who you are! You're Monsieur Mallah of the Brotherhood of Evil!"

"Swell…" M. Mallah muttered enjoying his banana. Once he had finished, he threw the peel behind him. "And you are?"

"Well, I'm…" Terra blinked a couple times.

"Is your name Kole?"

Terra shrugged. "I guess…

"Great." M. Mallah ran over and picked Terra off her feet and swung her over his shoulder. "You have an appointment with Dr. Light."

"Really? Am I getting my annual shots?"

"Sure…" And they went off into the jungle.

■□■□■□■□■

**-₪- Jump City, California -₪-**

So all those villains, the not-Titans East, Robin-from-the-comic-books, Starfire-from-the-comic-books, and Supergirl were all— Wait! Supergirl?

((A/N: FYI, I wrote this write after I read Supergirl #3 (OMP! I loved it!) and I kinda make fun of Supergirl and Wonder Woman. But don't think I hate them. I love Supergirl. She's like the coolest…after Robin (number 1) and Nightwing (even though he's the same guy...) and Batman and Starfire…and yeah…))

"If you don't give me pancakes," Supergirl warned, "I'll punch your faces in." She pounded her fist into her palm.

And to see some pretty blonde girl standing there in a wicked short skirt, a belly shirt with the 'Super' logo on it, and that red cape just made everyone giggle.

Slade the Mercenary arose from his seat and pulled out a newly invented pool-ball-shooting gun. "Who are you?"

"I'm Supergirl. And I _want_ pancakes." Her eyes turned all red and she randomly shot eye laser beams at and killed the closest person to her: Rorek. Or is it Malchior… Well, whatever. He's dead anyway. So the death toll so far for the Villain's Convention 2016 is 2…so far.

"Supergirl? So what are you, like Superman's daughter or something?" said Adonis. The lunatic.

Supergirl's eyes changed to normal and she gave Adonis a really dirty look. "He's my cousin, okay? Cous-in."

"So you're a superhero?" Johnny Rancid asked.

"No. I'm not," Supergirl said sarcastically.

"As long as you're not a superhero…" Slade finally sat at motioned Supergirl over. "Come and get as many pancakes as you want. I made 'em myself! I promise they're delicious!"

Supergirl's eyebrow twitched and she flew over to receive her pancakes. She took a seat with Robin-from-the-comic-books, Starfire-from-the-comic-books, Ketchup-and-Mustard, and the other not-Titans.

"Hey Starfire. I thought you were with the Outsiders." She stuffed a mouthful a pancakes in her mouth. "And Robin…" She patted his thigh. "Get some tights, okay?"

Robin exchanged glances with Starfire. "Uh, Supergirl. Don't you have somewhere to be… You know with Wonder Woman…or something…?"

Food fell out of Supergirl's mouth when she opened it to talk. She giggled. "Nope. But how would you know? I mean, who are you? Robin 1 or 3? If you're 3, aren't you supposed to be with the Titans but you're not Robin 3 because your not hot. And you're not Robin 1 because he's hot too and he's Nightwing now and with the Outsiders where Starfire should be right now. Did I mention Nightwing was hot? I was wrong. He's drop dead gorgeous! I love Nightwing! O-M-G! I kissed him and it was the best thing ever! Gawd, Nightwing is sexy. I LOVE HIM! Anyways, who are you?" She took a deep breath and stuffed more pancakes into her mouth.

Robin blinked a couple times. "Uh…"

Supergirl held her syrup-covered hands up. "Holy pancakes, Batman! Now this is what I call a sticky situation! …That's something you would say, Robin-number-whatever… Right?" She patted his hand trying to get his attention, smothering syrup all over his arm. "Hey. Am I right? Right? Am I right?"

Starfire groaned. "Okay, Dick. We're leaving." She took hold of Robin un-sticky hand and flew away.

"Dick!" Supergirl called after them. "So your Robin 1! Right?" When no one answered, she punched a hole all the way through the cement wall, not even breaking a sweat…or noticing for that much. "Damn those ex-Titans."

And suddenly someone blasted a whole through the wall. And in came Wonder Woman. "Kara Zor-el!"

"What!" Supergirl yelled back.

Wonder Woman pointed her finger and Supergirl. "I do not like your attitude, young lady."

Supergirl raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Do not speak to me in that sort of manner."

Supergirl just kinda sat there, ignoring the villainous eyes that watched her.

"What are you doing here!" Wonder Woman yelled again.

Supergirl pointed at her half-eaten plate of pancakes. "I'm eating pancakes"—she pointed to the TV—"and watching SpongeBob."

"Well, we're leaving !"

"But my pancakes!"

Wonder Woman pulled out her lasso and threw it over Supergirl. She flew off and dragged Supergirl with her. "Off to the island!"

"Diana…" Supergirl whined.

Everyone blinked. "Well, that was interesting," Aqualad commented.

And to make their day even weirder… Three crazy guys jumped in.

"Aw man! Somebody already broke through the wall! That was my job!" the dude with a toaster for a head said.

"Shut up!" yelled the man with a silver spout on his head. He seemed to be the leader.

"Who be you?" Slade yelled out. He stood up and pulled out that super awesome new gun.

They three dudes visibly flinched. But then regained their composure. The spout-headed leader stepped forward and stood in a heroic position. "Why, we are the Breakfast Bunch! Surrender or we shall perform acts of breakfast-y justice upon your behinds!"

All the villains looked around. "Surrender what?" Control Freak said, holding his arms half way up.

The Breakfast Bunch looked at each other. "I dunno," the leader said. "I didn't think we would get this far."

"But all you did was jump through a hole in the wall!" Ketchup-and-Mustard said.

"But it took us a long time to get here! Do you know how LONG it takes to walk from our college dorm to here!"

The villains gave each other these looks saying they didn't care. "Sure."

"But seriously. Why are you here?" Slade asked, still standing.

"We have come to attack you!" yelled dude with a frying pan for a hand. He pumped a spatula fist into the air.

"Why?" Slade asked with no emotion.

The dorks looked at each other again. "…Because you're villains…" said Bacon Ben.

Slade smacked his lips. "So?"

"…And we're heroes…"

Slade puckered his lips although no one could see it. "So?"

"…Heroes attack villains…"

Slade looked to the side and then to the other side. He then turned his head to face the dudes. "So?"

"…Well since the Titans aren't here, we are going to cover for them and—"

"Ah bup bup!" Slade leaned forward. "What was that?"

"…Well since the Titans aren't—"

"No! The end!"

"We are going to cover for them."

"Why?" Everyone groaned and Slade laughed. "I'm just kidding! Hahaha! But seriously…you want to attack us?"

Pancake Jim shrugged. "Well, it's in the job description."

Slade turned. "Did you hear that, boys!"

Madame Rouge stood and said in that funky accent, "Hey!"

"Shut up, byotch!" Slade stuck his middle finger up.

Rouge gasped. "Why I never!" She stretched her leg out really fast and kicked Slade-o in between the legs.

Slade's face contorted all weirdly, although no one could see it, and he put his pool-ball-shooting gun down. "This'll get ya, motha fawkers! I call this the ninja centerfold!" He then put his gloved hands into some crazy hand symbol. "Sexy no Jutsu!" Slade's body blew up in smoke and when the smoke cleared Slade had transformed into some hot naked lady with the mask still on. All the ladies present looked away, disgusted, and all the men fainted with nosebleeds.

Then suddenly three kiddos jumped through the hole in the wall and knocked the Breakfast Bunch over. The Breakfast Bunch started crying and crawled away, nursing their bruises.

The kid in the center of the three with blonde hair named Naruto pointed his finger at the sexy Slade lady. "That is MY jutsu!"

Slade transformed back into his male non-sexy self and picked up his gun. "Who be you! Have you come for my pancakes!"

"Pancakes? What the hell are pancakes?" Naruto said.

Everyone gasped.

"Only the most delicious delicacy ever created!" one dude yelled.

"A gift from the gods!" someone else yelled.

"Pancake flour and water mixed together and cooked on a pan!" somebody else yelled.

Everyone turned back to face the culprit. "Don't ruin it for the kiddies!" Slade yelled.

"We are not kids!" the girl named Sakura that stood on one side of the blonde boy yelled out. She had pink hair and bright green eyes.

"We're fifteen-years-old, byotches!" Naruto yelled. "Believe it!"

All the noise suddenly stopped and the silence became deafening.

"Who said we weren't going to believe you?" Slade said, breaking the silence.

Naruto shrugged. "That's my catch phrase."

The good looking boy on the other side of Naruto with spiky black hair and was named Sasuke ((A/N: It's pronounced 'sass-kay.')) muttered, "Dunce…"

"Who _are _you dorks anyway!" Control Freak yelled out.

"I'm Naruto, this Sakura, and this is Bastard."

"Bastard? What the hell?" Slade said, disgusted. "Who name's their kid Bastard?"

"That's not his real name!" Sakura yelled out. "Naruto just calls him that because he's a dunce! (Naruto: "Hey!") His real name Sasuke…" Hearts floated around Sakura as she gazed lovingly at Sasuke. "Right, Sasuke?" She held onto his arm.

"_Off_, Sakura," was all Sasuke said. He pried her hand off.

The hearts around Sakura popped and she grew all depressed. "It's because of my forehead…" she mumbled.

Naruto put an arm around Sakura. "Sakura's my girlfriend."

Sakura's face turned beet red with anger and she punched him all the way across the room. "I do NOT like you! I like Sasuke…" She leaned up against Sasuke but he pushed her away.

Naruto shakily stood up from the back of the room, nursing a large bump on his head. "Jeez, Sakura…"

Johnny Rancid walked up and pointed his fork at Sasuke. "Eh boy? Why don't you talk much?"

"…" Sasuke turned away, annoyed like hell.

"Sasuke spends his time plotting plans to kill his brother Itachi," Sakura said in an all matter-of-fact sort of voice.

Slade held his head. "GAH! All these crazy names are killing me!" And beside him in a puff of smoke appeared some tall guy with spiky silver hair. The forehead protector he wore covered one of his eyes leaving a half-opened eye visible. He carried a small orange book.

"YOU'RE LATE!" Naruto and Sakura yelled, pointing accusingly at the man.

"Sorry," he said in an emotionless voice, "I was watching some random parade. I love all the big balloons…"

"LIAR!" Naruto put on a fox-like grin. "More like you were watching all the hot ladies in the parade and their big—" Sakura covered Naruto's mouth and threatened to pull his man parts off.

Slade turned to the silver-haired man. "Who are you?" Slade asked.

"Kakashi-sensei," the guy answered and he went back to reading his book.

Slade fell to his knees. "NOOOOOO! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD AND THE CRAZY NAMES!" He suddenly stood. "Hey. Watcha readin'?"

"Icha Icha Paradise," Kakashi answered monotonously.

Slade's eye twitched. "Uh… Translation?"

Kakashi sighed. "Make-Out Paradise."

"Ooooooh… I know that series! What number is that!"

"Seven," Kakashi answered.

"Can I see?" Kakashi handed Slade the book. Slade read it for a moment and then burst out, "Ooh! I remember this one! It's the best!"

"You like it?"

"Hellz yeah! This one's my fav! There's just so much lemony romance!"

"Wanna talk about it?" ((A/N: This is not KakaSlade just to let you know!))

"Alright!" Slade led him over to sit at some random table. He handed Kakashi a plate of pancakes. "Try it!"

Kakashi took a bite and his features brightened. "These _are_ a gift from the gods!" So he was listening?…

"Have you ever seen SpongeBob?" Slade asked, turning the volume to the TV up by pressing a button on his wrist.

Sasuke smacked his forehead. "I'm am surrounded by idiots," he mumbled. It's true though. Kakashi-sensei and Slade were discusing their favorite 'lemon' parts in Make-Out Paradise, Naruto had pranced over to sit with Ketchup-and-Mustard and the gang and was eating pancakes, commenting on how they were even better than ramen and the Breakfast Bunch were still in the corner, crying. So Sasuke and Sakura were standing alone in a room full of pancake-obsessed idiots.

Sasuke and Sakura exchanged glances for a quick second. "You wanna go make-out somewhere?" Sasuke asked as if it was an everyday question.

Sakura giggled and blushed. It's not everyday Sasuke asks such a not-everyday question. "Okay!" Sasuke held her hand and they walked out through the large hole in the wall.

Everyone suddenly stopped eating pancakes ((A.N What a crime!)) and watching SpongeBob and observed the lovely couple walk into the sunset. "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww."

And Naruto ran after them, fist shaking in the air. "Bishes!"

■□■□■□■□■

**-₪- With the Teen Titans…where ever the fawk they are… -₪-**

It was hot. It was very hot. It was so freakin' hot, it could melt a rabid chicken. Oh my gawd, it was so hot.

The Titans lay on the ground in different areas. Beast Boy and Robin had shed their shirts because they were so hot. Raven had shed her cloak and ripped the arms of her leotard off because she was so hot. Starfire had shed that metal neck/chest protector thing because she was so hot. And because of the extreme heat, everyone became sort of delusional.

"Oi…" Beast Boy said. His voice sounded way lazy.

"Wha…?" Robin muttered back.

"Have you guys ever read Make-Out Paradise number 7?"

"Uh… No…" Cyborg answered.

"Well, you should…cuz it's good…"

"That's nice…" Robin muttered.

…

"Ay…" Beast Boy said again.

"What, Beast Boy?" Robin said, annoyed.

"What the Hellenistic are we laying around here for?"

"Because we're hot…" Cyborg said.

"But there's a freakin' river right next to us…"

"Nuh uh. Since when?"

Everyone shot up and stared in awe at the river that they could be swimming in to cool themselves down.

"What the hell is wrong with us?" Robin said, his eyes wide open.

Everybody quickly stood up. Cyborg sped like a bullet and jumped into the river. Robin pulled off his sexy boots, gold belt and green tights, leaving him in polka dot boxers and his mask, and ran crazily to the river. He jumped in head first. Starfire removed her silver arm band, belt, and boots, and raced after him. Beast Boy pulled off his boots, belt, and tights while running to the river, and finally jumped in. Raven reluctantly removed her boots and sat down in the shallow area of the river.

So. They were having a really good time, splashing each other and playing Chicken. But suddenly, out of nowhere, Raven screamed. Everyone stopped playing around and turned to her.

"What's wrong, Raven?" Beast Boy said, concerned. I mean, it's not like it's everyday you hear Raven scream.

She leapt up and shakily pointed to the water. "Something touched me!" She had a look of pure horror on her face.

"Come on, Raven," Robin said, smiling sort of. "It's probably just a fish or something."

"Fish! I hate fish!" Raven stared looking down at the water in search of fish.

"Raven, you must not be afraid of fish," said Starfire. "They will not—EEK!" Starfire leapt on Robin's back.

"What happened?" Cyborg asked Starfire.

"I have felt something touch me also. And it does _not_ feel like fish!"

Robin attempted to set Starfire down, but she clung to him like a leech. "Well, I bet it's nothing—"

"GAH!" Raven leapt into Beast Boy's arms. She pointed to the area she once stood. "I felt it again!"

"Come on guys!" Cyborg stood in a desperate position. "It's probably just some little prehistoric fishy that wouldn't harm anything but a plant!"

But from behind them, rose a large, gynormous, fifty foot snake. Its eyes were blood red and its scaly skin was dark green. It opened its mouth so wide it could swallow three fat men whole. Its ivory white fangs were as long as a school bus and a purple venom dripped out. A skinny red tongue slithered about, sensing its surroundings.

"That is NOT a little prehistoric fishy!" Raven said, horrified.

o.O O.o o.O O.o o.O O.o

A/N: Yess! That was awesome! I loved this chappie! So my favs go in order like this: Chapter 5, then Chapter 4, and then Chapter 1. The rest are 'Umm…oo-kay!' And a little heads up for next chapter… It's going to start with the Titans and it's going to be a 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets' parody. You can already guess where the parody is coming from…

And also, I would like you all to watch 'Naruto' if you don't already. In the U.S, it's on Cartoon Network at 9 PM EST on Saturdays, which happens to be on the same channel as and hour after Teen Titans. Good. I promise you'll love it!

Disclaimer: I do not own SpongeBob. 'Naruto' is owned by Masashi Kishimoto, so I don't own it. If I owned Teen Titans, I'd make an episode just like this: So. The Titans go to a rock concert and Fall Out Boy is playing, right? So they're playing their wicked awesome song 'Dance, Dance.' (I dunno why, but the song reminds me of 'Naruto.' Yes. I AM a dork.) Robin, Beast Boy, and Cyborg start a mosh pit. And Pete Wentz jumps off stage and starts dancing with Starfire. So Robin gets all jealous and starts beating up Pete, saying stuff like, "What the hell!" and "Who the fawk do you think you are!" So this huge fight breaks out between everyone at the concert. And Jim Lee (the comic book penciller. He pencils 'All Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder.') comes out of thin air and is like, "Bisshes!" But there would never be an episode like that because I don't own Teen Titans.

I'm thumbing through the pages of my fantasies,  
ЖЯдβБΨ ۹Ǻ†ŧỊ€ی™


	6. Author's Note

Hello. You guessed it. This is not a chapter. ::sigh::

So, my laptop broke for a while. It wouldn't turn on. So my pop, the computer genius, pressed the little 'Reset' button at the bottom. And everything was thus deleted.

EVERYTHING

DELETED

STORIES

PICTURES

MUSIC ::sniff::

EVERYTHING

SO unfair.

And on the absolute PLUS side, my CD drive does not read CDs, only DVDs. So I can't load Microsoft Word onto this baby. Nor can I load Jasc Paint Shop Pro 8 (my life!!). Isn't that great? Yes, it's pretty much awesome.

Oh, shut up! I did not know what 'backing up' was, okay?! Now I have the little music, pictures and Word documents I have backed up onto the other computer in my house.

What's the point of telling you this?

I had typed all of chapter 6 of _GAH!_ and a couple chapter of _Affliction_. Now they're gone. And I don't feel like rewriting them. So I pretty much quit. Maybe one day I'll type up those blessed chapters. Maybe. One day. So if anyone wants to continue either of those stories, send me a private message. I'll help you get started.

Well, now I'm writing a story that will go on Fiction Press. It's pretty much the ideas of a lot of my favorite shows/manga/books combined. The combonation includes _Naruto _(Naruto and Sasuke characters), _Get Backers_, _Full Metal Alchemist_, _Artemis Fowl_ by Eoin Colfer, _Hellsing _(manga, here, not the movie _Van Helsing_, althought that was a great movie), _Companions of the Night_ by Vivan Vande Velde (I think...), _Harry Potter_ and there might be some _DNAngel_.

The idea of the story is there is a boy named Cyrus (Sasuke's character) who is a vampire and Aiden, his best friend (Naruto's character), who can perform alchemy. Together they call themselved the Returners and will get and return absolutely anything anyone loses, for a fee of course. They only work for kids and teachers at the boarding school they go to (they're seniors, I'm thinking). Isabella, prefers Bella if you please, starts at the school and everyone falls in love with her (even the girls, 'cause she's so nice and naive). She is accidentally placed in a boy dorm room with Cyrus and Aiden, tragic. The Returners get the biggest mission of their life, to return the lost brother to a mysterious man called Hideaki for a lot of cash. Try 2.5 million. But something's a bit strange about this guy. When they can't find any leads or fall into a dead end, he gives them the leads and clues they need. Will Cryus survive being a vampire, living with the psychopathic Aiden and the super-naive Bella, his extremely annoying cult of fangirls _and _find Hideaki's brother? Find out in XX Sharingan's _In Loving Memory_, the story where boarding school "sucks" (pun intended).

Tee hee. I'm still working on the first chapter so it'll be a while 'till I get it up. My Fiction Press name is XX Sharingan. Look me up.

Goodbye for now, my puppets. We've had good times. Gooood times.

I'm thumbing through the pages of my fantasies,  
ЖЯдβБΨ ۹Ǻ†ŧỊ€ی™


	7. Author's Note 2 IMPORTANT

I have decided to continue!! Disregard that other Author's Note! Thanks for those reviews. They made me feel bad. So I'm continuing. I have to wait until I get Microsoft Word though... 

Peace! This is not the end of me!

I'm thumbing through the pages of my fantasies,  
ЖЯдβБΨ ۹Ǻ†ŧỊ€ی™


End file.
